Sleep Is Death

The Zombie They Wanted

I'd had enough.

For the past few days, I'd been sleeping. I'd been too tired to eat, to shower, to use the bathroom, and even to sit by the window.

Even when I was groggy, I'd still have to take my insomnia medicine.

One of those days, we were all gathered in the living room so Lou could speak to us. I was sitting in my usual seat with the sun on my back, nodding off and drooling onto my lap.

"Today's Halloween," she said, and just about everyone perked up. They wanted to share their excitement about the holiday amongst themselves but we all knew Lou would retaliate if they interrupted her, so no one spoke. "I ordered some fabric and had machines donated to us for you all to design your own costumes. Also, tomorrow, a few men will be visiting to inspect the grounds."

That's all that I remember before I awoke to a machine in front of me and fabric bunched up under the needle. I had one hand on the machine and the other hand pushing the navy blue fabric, but it wouldn't budge. The machine rocked and clicked, buzzed, and clicked again.

"Hey, do you need help," Rosalyn asked and the fabric audibly ripped before she could finish. I slowly lifted my head to see her sitting across from me near the window. She had light yellow and orange material sewn with a swirling net around the hems.

"I don't want to do any of this." I don't think she heard me, because she left her material to take the seat beside me.

"Here, let me see if I can fix it." She gently removed my hands, setting them on either side of the machine. She pulled it before her and inspected the cloth with her fingers. "Hm." She sat her elbow on the table and her finger on her lower lip. She tapped her chin, then dropped her arm and said, "I could probably either split the material in half or stitch it shut for you. Maybe even stitch with a certain pattern to give it a design."

I dozed off again and when I woke up, I was lying in bed.

My head was throbbing but it felt like someone pushed a sword through the side. I could hear that static and the other girls talking downstairs.

I turned to face the wall and started to lift the pillow over my ear to drown out the noise, but something sharp pressed into my thigh.

I dug my hand under the quilt and wrapped my fingers around something as stiff and as thick as a knife handle. It was a box cutter.

I don't know how it got in my gown pocket. I don't even remember seeing it before that moment.

I wanted to take it to Lou, but I didn't think she'd listen. I was so tired, that my body felt glued to the sheets. I woke up with a dry tongue and lips, and a rumbling stomach that ached like period cramps.

I yawned, placed it in my pocket, and shut my eyes. I planned to put it near one of those hedges when Lou let us outside the next day, but it didn't work out so easily.

I was woken up along with the other girls. We were rounded into the halls like cattle, rubbing our eyes and barely able to maintain our balance.

"Someone has something," Lou said, marching past us and glaring into our eyes as if she was hoping she'd see weakness. Her arms were folded and her eyebrows were knitted. "I don't know who but I know that one of you knows who it is."

"What is it?" Someone gasped when they heard another girl speak. I watched a few others wince, waiting for Lou to strike her or yell.

Lou stared at that little girl with blonde pigtails. She approached her and took one in one hand, running her thumb along the center.

"A box cutter." She whipped her head toward me and my heart dropped into my stomach. I swallowed and it felt like fingernails scratching my throat. "Like I said, someone knows who took it." She diverted her eyes to my roommate Sandra and said, "So I suggest, if the culprit doesn't fess up, the accomplices do so. Otherwise, this place'll be on lockdown for longer than when Richardson stole my brooch and tried to stab me with it."

"She didn't steal it, though," someone said, and Lou's fingers curled around the braid. The teenager grimaced and bit her lip. I knew she wanted to speak, but was afraid.

Lou turned her back to me to look at one of the girls that was in my room that day.

"Oh?" She sounded like she was smiling. We watched her step toward the girl, and we exchanged glances. "What's your name again?"

"Anna," she stuttered and gripped the sides of her gown.

"Well, Anna, why do you think she didn't steal it?" She didn't answer. Lou sat her hands on her hips and leaned in with her ear between them. "Don't be afraid to speak now, Anna," she said then looked at her. "Why don't you think she stole it?" Anna shifted her eyes from one of Lou's to the other. She was shivering and her fingers were turning red. "Okay, well, I'll leave you to think of an answer. Let me know when you're ready." She took a step back and without breaking eye contact, she raised her voice and said, "Isaac, take her to the basement!"

Her eyes widened just like mine. Those heavy footsteps drew in from downstairs.

He held the railing and she turned to run into her room. I thought Lou might stop her, but she allowed her to slam the door and lock it.

Isaac threw open the door like the lock clicking meant nothing. Not that it did. I understood, then, why they wouldn't let us shut the doors. It wasn't to protect us or because it would keep them out, it was because it didn't matter either way. It's less effort to march in when the door is open.

He had her by her hair, her locks tangled around his wrist as he dragged her out kicking and screaming.

"Help me!" She reached out for the banister and held the bars tight. Her neck was bent at an angle that made mine hurt.

"Wait," I yelled out, but he kept tugging at her. Lou turned to me, her hands still on her hips. "I - have the box cutter." Sandra and a few others cut their eyes at me. Finally, Isaac dropped her, but she laid on the steps sobbing and didn't let go. "I - didn't," I stuttered and licked my lips, but it didn't do any good.

Lou stepped to me with a finger to her lips, shushing me.

"It's okay," she told me, then dropped her arm. "You're not in trouble." Sandra rolled her eyes and shook her head. As I looked around, I noticed they all had similar reactions. "Where is it?"

I stuck my hand in my pocket and it shook when my fingers grazed the black object. I lifted it between us, blinking faster than usual.

"I kept dozing off while we were using the sewing machines. I don't even remember putting it in my pocket." I tried to defend myself, but her smile made me feel physically ill.

"Hey, it's okay," she said in the same soft tone while sliding the box cutter out of my hand. "It may be your medication." I nodded and apologized profusely, but she just kept telling me to relax. "How's about you go a few weeks without your medication?"

I looked at Anna. She was crawling up the steps, sniffling and shuddering. Her roommate knelt down to help her to her feet, then I looked at Lou.

"Okay," I nodded and she smiled from ear to ear.

"Perfect, well, let's get started tonight." Without turning to him, she said, "Isaac, take her to the basement," and my eyes widened. My mouth fell open, my lips peeling at the corners. Anna glared at me until Lou said, "And come back for Miss. Martin when you're finished."