Sleep Is Death

Julian

It was almost nine pm and I was the only one awake—or so, I thought.

I sat by my window, watching the trees sway and cars pass with my old life playing in my mind like an old movie; a silent film.

I thought about Anna, the girl whose name I still couldn't remember, Rosalyn, and of course Kristin. Every now and then, I'd see Jay's face appear between flashes of my childhood and my stay in Greenwich, but he was like an extra in the film.

I tightened my arms around my legs, pinning my knees to my chest and resting my chin against them. I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss his voice. He was like a brother to me in more ways than one, but at times it felt like he didn't understand me.

I heard creaking so I turned my head to look over my shoulder. The moonlight created squares and rectangles, but I only noticed when they covered Ethan like a projector to a wall.

"You're up," he said but it sounded like a question. His eyebrows were drawn in and he crossed his arms. I slowly sat up and let my knees fall, sitting cross-legged.

"Yeah," I dragged my answer and it too resembled a question, flicking my gaze from left to right before they settled on him. I scrunched my face in amusement, and said, "You seem surprised."

"I mean," he trailed off, bringing a hand behind his head while the other fell to his side. He rubbed his neck and cleared his throat."Well, what're you doing up?"

I looked out of the window again and shrugged, my smile fading.

"I was just—reminiscing." I heard the weak floorboard which let me know that he was approaching me.

He sat beside me and crossed his legs but didn't say much. He laid his slender arms over his knees with his back slouched. I watched behind his thin glasses as his blue eyes bounced from object to object

I opened my mouth to ask him why he came into my room, but he interrupted me to ask, "Why'd you move here?"

I furrowed my eyebrows and chuckled, then said, "What's the matter, you don't want me here anymore?" He looked at me without an expression so I relaxed my face and shrugged. "I don't know. I was planning on moving anyway so I figured, why not come to California?"

"But Julian of all places?" He raised an eyebrow. "This place is practically off the grid. Most people who move to California go to LA."

"Maybe I prefer a less flashy life," I said before glancing at the town at rest. "You make it seem like there's nothing to do in this town."

"I mean," he dragged his words, his face scrunched like he was cringing. "I'm not wrong. Most of the good restaurants are either too expensive or not here; My folks used to travel to San Diego for their anniversary dinners."

I let out a humored breath through my nose. I understood his confusion. On the bus, I remember thinking how dead the town looked.

Instead of sidewalks and grassy terrain, there was orange and beige sand. I expected tall palm trees, but there were only oak trees near the neighborhoods and businesses.

There weren't any colorful, pocket-sized birds like Robins or Bluejays. I saw crows perched on telephone lines, vultures swarming near the freeways, a few woodpeckers thwacking the sides of trees and abandoned buildings, and the occasional quail eating near the roads.

I knew that Julian was nothing close to LA in terms of distance and popularity, but I didn't think it would be like moving to Arizona.

"But, regardless of why you chose to move here, I'm glad that you did," he said and I slowly peeled my eyes off the silhouette of mountains in the distance to look at him.