Sleep Is Death

Entry 11

Date and time unknown

While I was in the basement, the people came and inspected the grounds. Anna was told that someone complained about potential abuse, so the police and some guy were here to investigate.

I asked for a description, thinking maybe it was Jay but their description was nothing like him. Lou sent them to their rooms and told the inspectors, 'They needn't be bothered this afternoon. A lot of them are on new medications as prescribed by their physicians, so they're resting.'

Apparently, the man in charge wasn't having any of it, because he told his men to speak to every single resident.

They say he was a short, stout man in slacks and a button-up. He wore suspenders and a vintage hat, barely covering his bald spot.

They asked about the living conditions, claiming they'd have them released if the allegations were true, but no one said anything.

My fists clenched and my face heated up as Anna spoke, and I know she noticed because she took my hand. She loosened my grip with her eyes on me, and said, 'We'll get out of here soon, Helen.'

How could I believe her? They all masquerade as the toughest chicks in America, but when we're sent help, they send it away?

She told me they didn't believe they were really here to help because something like this happened before. A year ago, after someone tried to run away, Lou had men pretend to be police, march in here, and claim to suspect mistreatment.

The girl who ran away told them everything, and everyone suffered the consequences.

Since no one spoke up, we were allowed visitation, and Jay was here.

He told me he'd been calling and calling, but no one would tell him how I was doing. He said one day when he showed up during visiting hours, they said I was in the middle of a therapy session. The next time, they said I was sleeping. The third time, they asked him to leave, and that's when he remembered what I told him.

Isaac watched us speak and my heart was pounding. There was so much more I wanted to tell him, but I knew if I wasn't careful, Lou's lapdog would throw me in the basement again.

So, I slipped him a letter. Through a smile, I spoke like a ventriloquist and told him to touch the blue part of my hair. He was confused at first, but he did.

Right when he leaned in, and I knew my movements were obscured, I took out a crumbled-up letter from my pocket, and slipped it to him.

I had him read it. It was my account of everything that happened from my overmedication to my imprisonment in the basement. I even wrote about Anna's wrist and ankle.

I stared at Isaac out of the corner of my eye and my throat began closing up. I gripped the sides of my gown and occasionally relaxed my face like we were having a deep conversation.

When Jay finished reading, he looked at me with an open mouth. I told him not to say anything, to instead bring those men again and he nodded.

We stood and hugged, and for once, I didn't want to let him go. I'm sure he felt the same because his embrace was tighter. For hours, I had the lingering Old Spice smell remind me of him and keep my spirits high.

Even while writing this, I know he'll return, and I know, soon, I'll be free.