TFIOS Plot Twists

Pain

A/N

Because I felt like it. (:

~•~

P A I N

Hazel Grace sat in the spring grass, her body carefully placed to the right of her lovers grave on the epitome of a mellow day. However, it was still getting harder to breathe each passing day, this day was the hardest. Hazel fumbled with the tubes that delivered her oxygen before placing her hand on thick grey stone. The coldness beneath her fingertips never startled her, as her hands were just as chilling.

"Hi Gus," she whispered, her voice raspy from the little bit of air that she breathed. Two years later and she still doubted if he could hear her, especially like this.

His voice was raspy too, in the end.

"I miss you, a lot. So does Isaac, he wanted me to say hey for him...so, hey."

The smallest hint of a smile formed on her lips when she felt the last memory of Isaac going on and on about Gus flow through her. They both missed him more than anyone. They even played games, as if Gus was there, but invisible. He'd tell you where to go, what to do, what to say, and where to sit-so you wouldn't sit on him. After a bit, Isaac and Hazel began to assume they were going crazy, the game ended.

Hazel opened her mouth to speak again to her lover, but ended up choking on what felt like a bubble of air. With the one way conversation long paused, she focused on her breathing.

In, and out. Just like the last billion times.

"The phalanxifor isn't working as good as it used to, as you can tell. I wonder, if you used as much as me, if you'd still be here.." Hazel trailed off again and wiped a tear from her eye.

We could have died together this time.

She was still waiting for that reply that she'd never hear again. The one that would reassure her, fill her with warmth. She waited for the feel of his arms encasing her against his chest. She waited for his hands to skim up her shirt while they kissed. Even the lopsided grin on Gus's face that she'd never see.

Somewhere in the trees a bird was singing a soft, melodious chirp that stuck itself into Hazel's head.

I wish you were here to whistle along.

She tried it, whistling. Her lips were puckered, chapped, and torn to near shreds, but still she blew out some of the air she'd spared for the walk back to her car.

Nothing but more coughing.

Another bird joined along from somewhere in a different tree, a duet was created, rather than a solo. She thought it was beautiful, how their song could be so close, yet so far away.

Hazel looked back at Gus's grave, a small image of the funky bones where they'd shared a picnic carved just below his name. She traced the letters of his name in the soil with her pinky finger, outlining it all with a heart.

"I'll be back soon." She whispered, smiling once again at the thought of him with his unlit Camel Lights, healthy and unscathed.

"I promise, o-" Hazel was interrupted once more by another fit of coughing. But this time, it was more severe. The lungs she'd had felt as if they were caving in, her heart had fallen to the pit of her stomach.

Everything hurt.

She couldn't breathe.

Choking, with a leaking nose and two eyes, she struggled to signal her mother, who sat in the front seat of her car bobbing her head to a song. With her eyes closed.

Gus, I might be seeing you soon.

The pain was overwhelming, her chest, her whole body burned. It was at that moment she realized that her lungs weren't going to help her hold on. The phalanxifor had wore off, the oxygen tanks most likely empty.

Head aching, lungs screaming, Hazel let out weak groans of pain.

She rolled onto her back, trying to steady herself, but the pain was beginning to hurt more than it did when she lost Gus.

Pain demands to be felt.

Gus told her that, and it was true. She was feeling a million different types of pain.

Hazel eventually relaxed, her heart rate dipping lower and lower, until there was barely a thump in her chest. Her pulse was barely detectable.The world was spinning in her eyes, blurring into an erratic fury of colours and sounds. The birds, she couldn't hear them anymore, it was as if she were at the bottom of a pool. Everything echoed, the sounds she heard sloshed around in her head making no sense at all.

The absence of life was beginning to take over her.

The sky wasn't blue anymore it was black and the pain was diminishing into nothing. She, Hazel Grace Lancaster, was diminishing into nothing.

Finally, Hazel Grace took her last breath and-