I will never be able to....
See myself as you see me.
You see me as how I present myself, even though I'd enhance myself 100% if given the option. Even though I'd like to rid myself of my acne and extra weight. Smooth out the wrinkles in my pants and placate my frizzy fly aways.
You see me.
You see the sparkle in my eye when you ask me how my day is going. You see how hard I try to keep in that tear when I become homesick. You see the poorly blended concealer on the corner of my chin, caking up, begging to be wiped away by a napkin.
You see me worry feverishly how my sisters are doing -oh gosh! Is my dad keeping up with his doctors appointments? How come Jess has been getting so much calls from school- is she skipping?
I can't keep up with my mom, what is she thinking?
You see me. As me.
But they see me, as they see me-
Overbearing and impulsive, a dumb young girl wanting to marry young. So sweet but ill witted. Too much responsibility on her shoulders, she just wanted to let loose.
Just like her mom.
Run away when things get hard
Just like her daddy.
So much time spent learning just to mess up worse than the next one.
Everyone is just the same, selfish and naive.
Poor girl, doesn't even know what's coming for her.
Big mistakes-
Birds of a feather.
I just hope they'll be able to
See me as I'd like to see myself.
Surviving, living.Day by day. I make the best of what I can make for myself today.
God!? Are you seeing me?
