Smother the Flame in Your Heart // Danny x Sam

Part XVII

Warnings: none, but this is another Jake chapter

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"Sam hasn't been home in four days."

Jake sighed fiercely at Josh's unnecessary statement. He ignored it, burying his nose in a new book, a book devoid of romance and vampires and blood. It was a book that he couldn't get invested in. His twin kicked him from the other side of the couch; Jake huffed and tossed the book down into his lap with a coarse, "What?"

"I know you were hoping that conversation at Danny's resolved everything," Josh said, stretching his legs out, invading Jake's space even more. "But clearly, that's not the case. What are you going to do to fix it?"

"What is there to do?" came Jake's despondent-sounding reply, but his heart wrenched as he spoke. "I should just leave both of them alone."

Josh sighed and leaned forward, tucking his legs underneath himself. "That's not a good solution. Sam is your brother and Danny is your friend and he's a significant part of Sam's life."

Jake picked the book back up. "So what do you think I should do?"

"Talk to him. Talk to Sam. Be friends with Danny without crossing boundaries. You have to rebuild some trust there, Jakey."

Jake knew his twin was right. He just didn't have it in himself to explain why that couldn't be done–he didn't even trust himself to not cross those boundaries, to not further break trust with his brother and further damage his friendship with Danny. It felt entirely impossible so long as he felt such an intense pull into that innocently charming, silly, sexy vampire that Sam had found first, and with Sam having found Danny first, there was a bitterness that festered in Jake's own heart. It wasn't something he wanted to feel. He'd tear it out if he could. But he couldn't, and he felt the only actual, tangible solution was to let the distance linger.

Instead of saying all or any of that, Jake just said, "I'll try."

Well, Jake concluded later on, when the spring sun was still bright despite the hour growing later and later, Sam still hadn't come home, so he couldn't try quite yet. So he headed out, at first just driving somewhat aimlessly with the window down and a cigarette in one hand while the other manned the wheel, music loud but still not drowning out his thoughts.

Two cigarettes and most of an album later, he ended up at a trailhead south of home–the gravel and dirt parking lot was empty and the trees shimmied outside with the languid breeze, calling him to actually step out, breathe the clear air, and get moving to try and quiet his thoughts. But when Jake actually began walking, sneakers crunching over that gravel and kicking up dry, dusty dirt before he was able to tread over soft, wispy grass, all of his thoughts only seemed to get louder.

He was a little mad at himself that he'd let his act fall to the wayside. Jake felt confident that he hadn't been showing any feelings toward Danny, always just being supportive of him and Sam, no matter what he actually felt when he found himself alone with Danny. He'd never given himself inflated credit–even when Danny found him and let the two of them linger alone, Jake knew it wasn't out of anything beyond normal, innocent friendship. Nevertheless, it was titillating each time it happened–Jake could be there with just Danny and for the fleeting minutes, it felt like what they had was still profound, even if it wasn't entirely what Jake wanted.

The wide, flat trail walled in by long grass and wildflowers eventually narrowed, leaving Jake to walk down a thin dirt trail curving into the woods. The sunlight slanted and shimmered over leaves and branches, and he blinked at it and up into the sky, briefly wondering what Sam and Danny were up to. The guilt of pushing Sam away from his own home, from his own brothers, pained Jake's heart–but then he thought more about what Sam and Danny were, in fact, up to and jealousy wound itself tightly around his heart instead, its rancor seeming to mirror the deeper, darker stretch of woods he found himself walking into.