Finding Home - an f1 romance

chapter 5

Natalia Bridgers (POV) [d!sordered eat!ng thoughts]:
Max and I fly out from Bahrain to Monaco. Max insists he needs to go to his place after races, and I'm the one stuck flying in his jet, so I can't say much.

I fall asleep for the entire flight, the weakness spreading across my body even more. Max wakes me up, and I feel stuck in a daze.

I'm 98% sure I look just as bad as Max did in our first meeting. I want to ask him about it, but I also know how annoying prying is, so I don't. He already seems overwhelmed.

We quickly get escorted off, and make it to Max's house without an issue. Max's rigid posture seems to deflate the second he steps into his place.

"I'm going to sleep," he mumbles, body drooping. I didn't realize how tired he was. "You can do. . . whatever. Just don't wake me up, and don't bother me. Please."

Surprise fills me up at his exhausted voice. "Yeah. I won't bother you." He instantly goes up into his room, leaving me alone in his sprawling house.

Loneliness fills me up, which is stupid. This isn't like when my parents would leave me for up to weeks at a time with a few servants. This was me being forced into the house of my fake boyfriend.

I take my luggage into a spare guest room Max told me about before going on the jet. His house is spacious, but it also feels empty. Devoid of life. There's practically nothing of him here in his house. I can't judge though, since I literally have to live with my parents because of my lack of consistent income.

The plane always makes me feel a little icky, so I decide to take a shower. Luckily, the guest room has a bathroom built into it. Thank goodness my fake boyfriend is rich.

My shirt falls to the ground, and my eyes snap up to meet the wide mirror running all along the large counter. I blink several times, frozen as I take in my body.

I'm relatively skinny, but it's never enough for me. Lose a few pounds, it'll make you prettier. That's true. I look heavier. It's because of that pasta, the voice in my head reminds me. I shudder at that.

First it was the pasta, then it was eating a few cookies on the jet. If I lose the weight, maybe people wouldn't criticize me more. Maybe if I lose a few pounds, more brands would want me to sponsor them.

Tears burn in my eyes, but I will them back. Just skip a meal or two, it won't be so big of a deal.

My thoughts slow down as I finally snap out of my trance and step into the shower. The rushing water calms me like nothing else.

~

Max stays holed up in his room for the next few days. I have no clue if he even walked out. Maybe he did, actually. I felt lonely and weird being in his house, so I went out on walks and did some shopping every now and then.

I assumed he ate food and did some other things during my time away instead of being holed up in his room.

Ava called me a few times, and I explained how hermit-like Max becomes away from the cameras. Shy, tired, and isolated. She promised me she would never write about anything I tell her on Max, so I'm very grateful. I talked to her a lot over these few days.

Kira tells me we should eat out and walk around Monaco together, so I'm forced to text him. I know he said I shouldn't bother him, but Kira bothered me first.

I text Max if he wanted to eat at a restaurant for publicity, but he finally read the message the next day, and he declined. I told Kira about his refusal. At least it wasn't my fault.

My manager insists this is the right thing to do, so I knock on his door. "Max! We have to eat out or do something. Kira is going to rip me a new one. Please?"