'°☆ tied to the thread •°

II

Adriana couldn't bear looking Luna into the eye the next morning. But her best friend wasn't upset. She had experience in handling these situations and remained as calm as ever.
"Hey, listen to me. What happened, happened. I just don't want it to happen again. You're precious to me, I don't want you to get hurt, okay? Wake me up next time, please?", she said softly.
Adriana nodded.
"I'm sorry, I'm really sorry, Luna. I don't know what to say, I… I'm just so incredibly sorry.", she whispered.
"You don't need to apologise. Let's go to Madam Pomfrey to get your arm taken care of."
But Adriana shook her head.
"It's okay, it won't happen again, I promise."

But it did happen again, not only once. She broke her promise way too often. By December, her whole arm was littered with cuts again and she would soon run out of space. She too found pleasure and satisfaction in skipping meals. It gave her a sense of control and security. An empty stomach and a sore and stinging arm: It felt familiar, it felt safe. Adriana immersed herself in her school books. She welcomed every distraction and avoided feeling her feelings at all costs. On Christmas Day, when Adriana refused to accompany Luna to the feast in the Great Hall, she tried to sit her down and express her concern.
"Ana, what's been happening lately? You don't speak anymore, you don't eat anymore, you almost don't… exist anymore. Will you not tell me what's up?"
"I don't know what you're talking about.", she lied and avoided meeting Luna's eye.
But Adriana was a terrible liar. Especially Luna knew that and did not believe a single word.
"Don't try lying to me like this and think I won’t notice. It couldn't be more obvious that something isn't right. I know you, Ana."
"I…", Adriana initiated, but her voice failed. She hated to lie to Luna. She hated to treat her so coldly.
"It's nothing. I'm fine, really."
She tried to look her in the eye, but couldn't hold eye contact for longer than a few seconds before she needed to avert her gaze again, which wasn't exactly in favour of her credibility.
"Show me your arm then."
Luna's words sent shivers down her spine. She kept quiet and stared at the floor. Her best friend took her cold hand into her own warm one.
"Look at me."
Holding back tears, she met her eyes, filled with genuine concern.
"We've been here before and we got out of it, so we'll get out of it again, okay? I'm here for you, you know that. I only want you to do one thing.", she said, "Accept the help you're offered, will you?"
What Luna exactly meant by that, she'd discover a few days after the winter holidays were over and the lessons started again.

"Excellent work today, class.", Lupin closed his lesson, "You're dismissed!"
The students gathered their things and left hurriedly to go to their next class. Luna and Adriana were about to step out of the classroom, when Lupin held Adriana back.
"Oh, Miss Jones, stay back for a second, will you?"
Adriana looked at Luna in confusion, who just nodded encouragingly and disappeared in the corridor. Lupin closed the door and pulled out two chairs from beneath the desks. He sat down on one of them and motioned for Adriana to sit down on the other.
"Adriana…", he initiated, but didn't quite seem to know how to continue. He stared at her for a few seconds with a light smile on his lips, trying to gather his words.
"How have you been? How has school been?"
"Fine."
"Fine, you say? Are you sure?"
She nodded eagerly, as if that'd make her more believable
"Well, how do I put this… Your friend, Miss Lovegood, has reached out to me, because she - and I too - are quite sure you are, in fact, not fine."
Adriana hated the direction in which this conversation was heading.
"She said she was concerned about you, that you were isolating yourself."
"I'm okay, really.", Adriana said, trying to conceal the panic arising in her, knowing she convinced neither herself nor her professor, "Thank you, I'll be going now."
And without waiting for a reply, she hurried out of the room with a thumping heart and left Lupin behind, utterly dumbfounded.
But her escape didn't discourage Lupin. In fact, it only served as further evidence to him that something definitely was wrong. He tried to talk to her multiple times still, but Adriana replied defensively every time. She didn't want anyone coming too close to her. Lupin saw that her thoughts were eating her from inside out. And she wasn't the only one affected by it: Luna grew worried more and more with each passing day. Lupin assured her that they'd find a solution.

Mid March, Adriana and Luna entered the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom as they did any other day, unknowing that change was on its way. After every student was present, Lupin explained what they'd do: practising various types of defensive spells. Agitated whispers were heard throughout the room. But by the end of the lesson, every student, without exception, was exhausted and drenched in sweat. As usual, he thanked everyone for their good work and dismissed them. The classroom emptied itself and only the two Ravenclaw girls were left behind. Adriana was sitting slumped up against the wall, feeling faint and dizzy, Luna kneeling next to her. Lupin walked up to them.
"Is everything alright, girls?"
"Adriana-", Luna initiated, but got cut off.
"Yes, everything is alright.", Adriana insisted.
She pulled herself to her feet with all of her strength. Too quickly. A ringing noise pierced her skull and black dots appeared at the edge of her field of vision. The black dots spread quickly and within seconds, the world went black and she was gone.
Luna and Lupin caught Adriana before she hit the floor. Luna panicked, but Lupin remained calm. He rolled back Adriana's sleeve to check her pulse, but he was momentarily distracted by the scars climbing her forearm.
"Oh Merlin…", he murmured. After reassuring himself that she had just passed out, he tried to calm down the panicked Luna.
"Luna, hey. She'll come round in a little."
He pulled a chocolate bar from his pocket.
"Eat. You'll feel better."
Luna did as she was told and after she was back in a proper state of mind, Lupin asked if she had known about Adrianas injured arm.
She nodded guiltily.
“I know I should’ve told someone, I’m sorry. I didn’t want to make her feel as though I’m betraying her.”
“It’s not your fault, I understand that. Has it been going on for long?”
“Since the end of autumn.”, Luna said after pondering for a second, “But it wasn’t the first time. She’s hurt herself before in previous years.”
She wasn’t done speaking yet, but she felt her voice failing and tears stinging in her eyes.
“I just thought she had finally gotten out of this. I hoped that I could help her.”, she added after a deep breath.
Lupin reassuringly laid his hand onto her shoulder.
“It’s not your fault, Luna. It isn’t Adrianas either. Nobody is to blame. Relapses happen. But now that an adult is involved, I think it will be easier to help prevent those at all costs.”, he said warmly, “Take a break, okay? Catch some fresh air and take care of yourself. Talk to someone if you need to. You know that I, and the other professors too, are here for all of you students. I’ll talk this out with Adriana in the meantime, okay? It will be alright.”
She wiped her tears and nodded thankfully.
“Okay, yeah. Okay.”
She got up with a last worried glance towards Adriana and left the room.

“What…”, Adriana mumbled. She felt the hard floor beneath her and opened her eyes with much effort. The scarred face of a man bent over her appeared in her field of vision. She recognised the face, it belonged to Remus Lupin. She slowly recalled what had happened and wanted to jump to her feet at an instant. Lupin held her back.
“Woah there, stay calm. You just woke up.”
She felt her head growing dizzy again from the sudden movement. Adriana scurried back to the wall so she’d have something to lean against. It made her feel less exposed than she already felt in this situation. Trouble was on its way, she was sure of that.
“Where’s Luna?”, she asked weakly.
“Don’t worry about her, she’s okay. Do you want some?”
The man held his arm outstretched, his palm facing upwards and a chocolate bar laying on top of it. Adriana shook her head.
“Are you sure? You’ll feel better, I promise.”
But the girl refused.
“Well then…”, he stowed away the chocolate, “I think now we really need to have a little chat.”
She pulled her knees close to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. She had a bad premonition about what was to come now. Never before had she felt so vulnerable.
“I saw your wounds earlier when I was checking your pulse. And I think I know the reason for your fainting too.”
Adriana remained silent but looked at the kneeling man, as if saying “Go on”.
“When was the last time you ate something?”
She averted her gaze immediately. Panic spread through all of her body and she wanted nothing more than the possibility to escape. Tears welled up in her eyes and she dug her nails into the skin of the back of her hand.
‘Don’t cry, not now, don’t cry now.’, she told herself.
“This is a serious matter, Adriana. You are unwell, it’s no secret; and that is okay. I think you would really benefit from opening up to someone. Whether it’s me or another professor… maybe Madam Pomfrey. It doesn’t matter who, but you need an adult to confide in.”
She didn’t break the silence because she knew if she did, she wouldn’t be able to hold back the tears.
“Hey, are you listening to me?”, he asked softly.
Adriana nodded. To him it must’ve looked as though she was completely out of it. She wiped her eyes with her sleeve.
“We’ll go to the hospital wing now and talk to the matron before making further decisions on what to do with you, okay?”
He stood up and held his hand outstretched for her to take. Adriana grabbed it weakly and let him pull her to her feet.
“It will be alright.”, he said, rubbing her back.