Hopelessly Devoted

Chapter 7

Super Rewind 《 17/10/2004

"Daddy! Daddy, look!"

"Yeah, honey? Wow! You look like a real princess now."

"You mean, I was never a princess before this? I was never a real princess?"

"No! No— honey. You are a princess."

The man walked closer to me and gave me a toothy grin as he squats down and brushed my cheek ever so gently with his thumb. My cheek was a little moist and the tears kept coming, but that did not stop me from grinning back at him.

"Really, daddy?"

He opens his arms wide, welcoming me into his warm embrace. "Yes, my dear girl. Really."

It felt like forever as we stayed there, hugging each other ever so tightly until it was time to go home. The man lifted me up and carried me with one arm as I laid my head at the crook of his neck, clutching on to his shoulder. I felt peaceful, happy, care-free as the wind blew, making my hair gracefully sweep across my face.

"Tired?"

I nodded.

"Well then," I felt us moving together, the sound of crushed leaves and twigs filled my ears. "Let's go home."

Everything happened so fast. The shouting, the screeching, the numbness that built up in my body as if I was thrown like a dead corpse. My eyes were barely open, but I saw everything.

It was blurry, but the man, the same man that carried me, dragged his weak and bloody body towards me. "Princess," he whispered. I tried. I tried so hard to just lift up my hand to reach out to him. I was so scared. Tears were already filling up in my eyes as I felt a sharp excruciating pain at my neck. I wanted to scream, but I did not have any ounce of strength left in my body to even keep my eyes open.

"Honey? No! Listen to the sound of my voice, princess. Keep your eyes open! Don't fall asleep!"

He tried getting up. Every time he fell back and screamed in pain, he still tried. He dragged, he groaned, he pushed himself towards me. But then a loud sound of crash filled my ears and all I could do was close my eyes and let the darkness take over me.

That was it.

That was when I last saw him.

A bid of sweat ran down my temple as I woke up, clutching the sheets of my bed. My cheeks were wet from crying and my clothes were soaked in sweat. I felt annoyed, frustrated as I reached my study table for the glass of water. Stupid nightmares.

"Honey?" My mother reveals herself behind my bedroom door.

"Yeah?"

She opens the door wider. "You okay there?"

I nod and placed the glass back on the table. "Yeah, I'm fine. Was I screaming again?"

She was silent for a while but slowly nods and looks at me with so much of concern. I gave her a reassuring smile as she closes the door behind her. I have been having nightmares for as long as I know. The weird thing is, it was always the same one. I cannot put a finger on who that man is or was. I mean, it must be weird right? Dreaming about a man who you have never met and calling him 'daddy'. It did not really bother me when I was younger but the longer I dreamt about it, the more pain I feel and the more tears I shed.

3a.m.

"Fuck."

So much for getting eight hours of sleep. I got out of bed and grabbed a t-shirt from one of my drawers to change. I hated how much I my nightmares affect me physically and emotionally. I was more drained out than usual this week. I have not been able to pay attention in class for the past two weeks and it is the third time this week that have woken up in the middle of the night.