Beyond us (all of us #3) 18+

F O U R T E E N

D I E S E L

Dear April,

I didn't actually like girls until I met you, weirdly enough.

I mean, yeah I liked them, but I only had little crushes here and there. Platonic hand holding that ultimately lead to nothing, because I was a kid and didn't even know what liking someone could lead to.

But the longer you were around, the more I wanted you around.

The more I only wanted you around, even though I knew it ultimately lead to absolutely nothing because I was a fucking kid, and you were, you.

"Yo, you still talking to Thea?" Gio asks Trent, tearing into a fresh bag of chips like it's a life or death situation.

I barely glance up from my phone, too sunken into my patio chair to function. If I slide any further down, I'll fuse into the concrete. Might not be a bad thing, though. Especially if this turns into another episode of Trenton vs Gio: The Samurai Jack debate that never fucking ends.

"Nah," Trent mutters, blowing out a cloud thick enough to fog the whole damn backyard. "Not really."

That's a funny question.

Trenton was never really talking to Thea. Trenton never really talks to anyone.

He's the king of half-assed flings. So short lived that if you blink you might actually fucking miss it. I've tried asking him hat his deal is before--without actually asking--but he always swerves the conversation like he's dodging a bullet.

And I get it. I'd rather die than to talk about feelings too.

Gio purses his lips, fingertips touching like he's scheming something. "Alright, then she's fair game. I'ma go after her. Cool?"

Trenton shrugs. "All yours. Wouldn't be the first time you went for my sloppy seconds."

"Not sloppy seconds if you only made it to second base, jackass."

I groan. "Why don't you just stop running laps already, and give Marina a real shot."

Even I'm surprised the words come out. I must not be high enough to be saying dumb shit like that out loud.

"Here we go," Trenton says beneath a chuckle and passes me the blunt. "If you're so into Marina, why don't you shoot your shot, huh?"

I take my time taking inhaling, savoring the burn at the back of my throat. "I'd never touch her. She's not my type."

"Okay and she's not mine either."

We both glance at Gio, who's inhaling Doritos like the bag owes him money. He wipes orange dust on his jeans and grunts, "If she wasn't such a bitch, I might."

I ignore that--as usual, he contributes nothing crumbs and chaos to our smoke session convos.

"I'm just saying," I go on, "you guys are already good friends--that's half the battle right there, you know? Finding a girl who's actually cool to chill with. One that your friends don't fucking hate."

"Right, but the other half is actually wanting to get with her," Trenton tells me. "I don't. She's just my friend. That's it."

Bullshit.

First she was too much of a bro. Then he suddenly hated blondes. Now we're in this chivalrous phase where he won't dare to ruin the friendship? Sure, man.

But again, I'm not pushing it. it is what it is.

"Aww, how sweet," Gio mocks with a fake pout. "You don't wanna ruin your little friendship with princess Rina."