Beyond us (all of us #3) 18+

T H I R T E E N

C H L O E

"Ugh, I want to be in cheer soooo bad," Joselyn whines as I stretch an arm behind my head. "My mom wouldn't let me try out this year."

The more time I spend around her, the harder it is to believe she grew up in the same house as Trenton Laguna. He's...intense. Controlled. Joselyn's basically a wind-up toy with glitter in her brain. But I guess when your mom keeps you locked in a tower, it makes sense you end up this naive. 

My mom's the same way, but I'd like to think I know what's best for me.

Okay, maybe Diesel isn't exactly safe, but I know what I'm doing. I know who he really is underneath that whole image he wants everyone to see.

She's just going to have to get over it.

"Well, there's always next year," Marina tells Joselyn,  squinting up at me as the sun beams down on my neck. "And Chloe's bound to be captain by then."

It's something I've wanted forever. Since middle school. Since I was the tiny baby flyer for La Cadena City Cheer team. Since before I even knew what wanting meant.

"Yeah, I hope so."

"What do you mean?" Marina gawks at me. "Everyone loves you, you've already got it."

"Not everyone." I come to a crouch on the ground, snagging my water bottle and pop the cap open--eyes locking with Makenna across the field.

I still can't believe we ended up here.

All the pinky promises, sealed with kisses to our thumbs. We were so serious about that shit. We lived by them, planned to die by them. And now every time I see her, her eyes are so full of hate.

Hatred. Jealousy. Anger.

And there's something else in her eye that I just can't put my finger on.

Like looking at a stranger I only ever spent all my time with in my dreams. Our memories get hazier the more time goes by, and it's almost like I never knew her at all.

I take a drink, some of it spilling down my chin and drying instantly in the heat.

"Ugh, my mom's calling me. I gotta go," Joselyn chirps, scrambling to find her phone in her backpack. "I'll see you guys tomorrow."

We both wave and she bolts off the field like a little white rabbit. I'm grateful my mom's not that strict.

I lie flat on my back as Marina reaches for her toes, shutting my eyes for a minute before Coach inevitably screams for us to huddle.

"So, did you talk to him?" she asks, all sweet and sugary like she's tiptoeing around the words she really wants to say.

I hate that it's such a big deal.

I wish I were normal, and not so terrified of one of the most natural acts in human nature.

But I'm me, and everything has to be ten times more complicated than it needs to be.

"I did."

"And?"

"I don't know, he seemed excited. He said he'll plan a night for us."

She gasps, blocking the sun with her body like an excited eclipse. "And how do you feel about it?"

"I don't know yet." I prop up on my elbows. "I'm nervous, but I think I am ready. I feel more ready than I ever did with Todd."

It's the first time I say it out loud, and the first time I realize it's true.

This is different.

Diesel is different.