Beyond us (all of us #3) 18+

S E V E N T E E N

C H L O E

Past

"I just hate it," I mumble into his pillow. The same pillow I've been laying on the past three hours because there's nothing else we can do. No where else we can go. Just hide out, all day.

Every day.

I don't completely hate it.

I love being with Diesel. He makes me laugh, we talk about so much. I never get bored, even staring at the same four walls for hours and hours. Kissing and touching breaks help a lot.

But sometimes I just wish...

"Stuck in here...like we're--we're like, doing something wrong," I go on, cringing at my own voice.

Diesel shrugs that way he always does, propped up on one elbow. That lazy grin on his lips, like they're taunting me to kiss them again. "I mean, we kinda are, baby."

Ugh the way he says baby. I want to record it and put it on my favorite playlist.

"I'm serious," I push, rolling onto my back to look at his high ceiling. "You don't care that we have to sneak around? I mean at first it was kinda fun, but I almost grabbed your hand yesterday when you were standing next to me."

"You should have."

"What?"

"I said you should have. You also should have stuck your fucking tongue down my throat, right in front of Mak."

I sigh, my eyes shutting before I rub them with my sleeves--well, his sleeves, because I couldn't stay out of his closet if my life depended on it.

"I don't know how many times I have to tell you, I don't care if they know."

I care.

I care what they think. What they'd say if they knew. What she'd say if she knew.

What she'd do, if she knew.

He flops over, his face so close I can taste the smoke off his breath. "Mak's never been my girl. Everyone knows that."

"She didn't get the memo."

"Yeah, well she's got a screw loose, okay?" He clicks his teeth. "Let's get out of here."

He says it like it's so simple. Like it wouldn't blow up my entire life to be seen with him in public. Rising up off the mattress like he's got this sudden burst of energy at this time of night.

I laugh. "At one in the morning?"

He grins devilishly. "This is the best time. Everyone's sleeping. Come on, I want pancakes."

We end up at Marty's. This greasy 24-hour spot off the freeway.

I think I've been there once or twice as a kid. It's one of those places you go when there's literally nothing else open.

The parking lot's mostly empty. Neon sign buzzing as we walk up, like it's a huge bug zapper.

I hold Diesel's hand as we walk through the doors, my heart pounding. But he's right. It's virtually empty besides a few old truckers nodding off over coffee, and two old guys at the counter arguing about a baseball game that ended hours ago.

I slide into the sticky booth, my leggings getting caught on the cracked vinyl seats, but I'm not mad at it because we're finally on our first date.

Our first time out together. Us. Not hiding a thing.

I look out the window next to our table and catch my smudged make up from all the hours tangled up with him and his sheets. I feel so obvious, like everything about me is screaming taken.