Next Semester

13. panic attack

2262 words

Tyler decided he was done ignoring Hayley for the day so that he could tell her about the most recent developments on Josh. He'd been out of the man's office for a few hours, but just now had enough downtime to call her,

"Hello?" her confused voice answered the phone. It was nearly dinner time and he had yet to talk to her, so she had assumed he was mad at her.

"Hayley, you'll never fucking believe what I just found out." Tyler whisper yelled into the phone.

"Uh, hello to you too," she laughed awkwardly, "what did you find out?"

"Professor Dun isn't fucking straight." Tyler whisper screamed.

"Oh," Hayley breathed out, "Did he tell you that?"

"Yes!" Tyler squeaked into the phone. He was hiding in the bathroom of Braxton since he had class in the building anyway. He'd been spending more time in the English building than in his own dorm room in the past few days...he felt like he should just move in.

"So...what does that mean?" she asked. Tyler sighed and ran a stressed hand through his hair, "I-I don't know! I don't really think it means anything, but it just makes my feelings for him all too real now. Like, I know it hypothetically could be a possibility. And he's so great too, Hayls. He's sweet and funny and charming and smart and I just can't stop thinking about him." Tyler gushed. He was expecting her to match his enthusiasm, but instead she replied with, "So... Jude is out of the question?"

He let out a groan of frustration and placed his hand over his eyes, the lights suddenly too irritating to bear, "He was always out of the question and you know that, Hayley. What's gotten into you? You have one conversation with Ash and now you're team Jude?"

"I'm not team anyone, Tyler. I just don't want you to be throwing Jude away because you have a little crush on a professor." she huffed. Tyler knew those were Ashley's words coming out of her mouth, and the sting of betrayal felt like a slap to the face. How could she think so lowly of him after they'd been friends for so long?

"You know that's not the case and I can't believe you just said that. I never liked Jude. I never wanted Jude to like me. I'm not throwing anything away because there isn't anything to throw away. It doesn't matter what I do or say because I'll always be the bad guy until I pick Jude. Well, get ready to fucking hate me because I'm not picking Jude and I was never going to pick Jude." Tyler hissed. He couldn't stand having this fight anymore. Why was he being punished for Jude's feelings? Why was all of this his fault? If anything, they should be mad at Jude for ruining everything with his stupid little crush.

"The only reason we told Jude to tell you was because we were sure you'd feel the same way. The only reason you're so against it is because you're trying to earn brownie points with a man you can never have. Ashley didn't persuade me on anything, Tyler. I really believe you would've chosen Jude if it weren't for Josh." Tyler could tell that frustrated tears were welling up in Hayley's eyes (she'd never been good with conflict), but he honestly didn't care. Who was she to tell him how he felt? What kind of best friend was she to turn on him so easily?

"Fuck off, Hayley. I don't know what the fuck happened to you, but I'm done having this conversation. Text me when you're done riding Ashley's dick." and with that, he hung up the call. He breathed out a long, heavy breath and closed his eyes. He had a feeling that this would happen. Hayley had some type of weird allegiance to Ashley and was easily swayed by the girl's headstrong logic. She had said to him once that Ashley being her only girl friend made her really important, so he figured that this was some product of Hayley needing community and girlhood with Ashley. He understood in a way; Ashley was special to Hayley in a way he could never understand. It didn't make any of her actions less painful, though.