One Offs: Random Rambles of a Crazed Fool

Big Red

The key shoves into the deadbolt at such a fast rate the missing teeth skip where they are supposed to align and do not turn. Kevin grumbles under his breath and wiggles the key several times before the thought clicks.. that he might just need to take the key back out to try again.

'Fucking luck,' he mutters and pushes the key back in slowly. It slips nicely into place then turns. Once the door is open, he mutters again eying the Nathan Drake mini-POP on his keychain, 'Fickle bitch.'

The little head spins in a circle with a smirk on his face. 'You knew,' Kevin accuses with narrow eyes, pulling the key from the lock and entering the apartment. He leans against the heavy door. Out of habit and while his back is against the door, he reaches across his body to flick the deadbolt close.

His apartment is draped in a darkness that might feel eerie to some. His basement apartment only has one window in the bedroom which faces an alley between the buildings. The darkness doesn't bother him. It's his.. all his and he is thankful for that. Sharing a townhouse with nine other guys worked out for his bank account but not his sanity.

He removes his seafoam low Chucks at the door and stretches his right arm out. His finger trails across the back of the couch as he makes his way to the kitchen where the light switches for the two rooms are housed.

After a small click, the apartment is bathed in light. Kevin takes a cleansing breath of cinnamon and roses. In the kitchen, he unplugs his mug warmer which is melting the candle wax and caps the candle.

'No need for this,' he grumbles again.

No, he didn't want to get laid. Okay, scratch that. He did, but he just wanted her to come back to his place and cuddle while watching Sherlock. He wanted to judge her based on her selection: Rathbone, Brett, or Cumberbatch.

Kevin loved all three, but clearly his favorite was Brett. Hands down.

A smile graces his lips after he finds what he is looking for in the fridge. He finds the bottle opener, magnetized to the freezer, and pops the top. The microbrew foams a bit but doesn't exit the bottle. Undertones of orange and chocolate dance beneath the hops and barley.

The flavors mingle on his tongue. He decides then to banish the evening and put himself on the high ground. That gorgeous girl didn't go hungry tonight because of him. He nods at that and cranks the top of his bottle against the taped picture of him and his brother, hugging.

He sighs looking at the picture of Paul and moves across the kitchen to go back into the living room. His phone is left on the counter to charge next to the toaster; when he makes it to the front door and the cool sounds of a fresh prince pump through the speaker, he chooses to ignore it.

'They ain't up to no good,' he quotes. Using awesome balance skills moves to pick up his shoes, Kevin throws them on the shoe rack without spilling his beer while still bent over. His glaze is still on the floor. It moves upward as he takes a sip while walking forward the front of the couch. He gets scared shitless.

A very large man, in a tailored red and white pinstripe three-piece suit greets him with a smile. Light blue eyes bounce across Kevin's face, holding mischief and a tad bit of sympathy. Still standing, the man claps his large hands a single time before using them to unbutton his suit jacket.

In a soft, deep timber, the man says, 'Sooo, that did not go as planned, Kevin.'

Kevin grips the neck of the bottle tightly. His nerves shot and his mind starts to run. Not only from his date crashing and burning but from this giant of a man, lurking in his apartment. He swallows, not letting the other sense his fear.

'Look, man.. sir.. whoever..' Kevin mentally smacks himself for fumbling over his words as the giant leisurely takes a seat in his chair and crosses his legs, ankle over knee, showing off white socks with pink hearts on them. 'I don't know how you know me or how you got in, but you can see,' Kevin gestures wide, 'I don't have shit. Just don't kill me.'

Mischief flashes in the giant's eyes then turns into amusement as he chuckles. 'Yo. Calm. Breathe.'

Kevin does, not realizing he is now holding his breath. He picks up a bit of an accent from the other as well. His ears are untrained, so he can't place it, but he hones in trying to commit the sound to memory for police identification. He is cursing himself for not keeping his phone on him!

'I'm not here to rob or murder you.' Kevin watches the man use finger quotes around rob and murder with a chuckle. 'I'm Cupid.'

He takes a deep swig from his warming beer; then laughs like a manic off their meds. 'Your big ass? Seriously? You have got to be high!' He continues to snort in laughter watching as the larger man's face contorts. 'Cupid is some cute ass baby with angel wings and heart shaped arrows with.. motherfucking shity aim!'

The other man lounges further back into the chair, and rakes a hang through his blond hair, eying Kevin with annoyance. He adjusts posture, too, uncrossing his legs and spreading them to the capacity of the chair. 'It is beyond me, why humans have to make everything nonsensical and cutesy.'

Kevin, during this bazaar conversation has backed up to the back of the couch, now climbs the back of the couch, not wanting to cross in front of Red as he has dubbed him in his mind and plops on the side of the couch furthest from him.

'Even if I was to believe you are the so-called Love God, why the fucking hell did everything go so wrong with..'

He looks down at his lap with a sullen expression and Cupid picks up where he left off. 'Went wrong with Rachel?'

Kevin's eyes snap up, and he swallows the shock with another gulp of beer.

'My cousins Fate and Destiny were there tonight as well.. soiling my plans!' Red looks guilty as he runs his hand through his hair again. With a renewed smile and determination in his eyes, Red tells the man, 'Put Rachel out of your mind, Kev. I'm here to help partner you up with someone else.'