Mastermind

Chapter 13

*tw panic attack*

Grace

I was shopping for 4 hours straight which wasn’t much for shopping but considering that I only went with the intention to buy the heels that I pre-ordered that was a new record. I open the front door of my house and I see Dylan with Liam on the couch talking, it looks like they are talking about something serious but I don’t think that Dylan has talked to him yet about his mother. Liam smiles one’s he sees me and sits up from the house and goes in for a hug.
He knows that I hate getting hugged, especially as a greeting.
He wraps his arms around me purposely tightening his hold.
I despise him a little right now.
“Your hugs are still so warm and welcoming” He says grinning and returning to the couch next to Dylan.
“ And you still smell like cigarette, we’re you smoking in my house again?” I hate more than anything the smell of smoke in the house.
“Sorry “He says so unapologetically. I sight and go for the air freshener with vanilla smell that I have on the counter. I spray the whole living room and I purposely go and spray over his head and onto his clothes. He starts coughing and swaying his arms up the air.
So dramatic.
“ What fuck Grace?”
“ I told you not to smoke in here.” I say and I sit down the couch.
“And I told you I am sorry.”  I exhale a breath and turn my gaze to Dylan concern taking over. He is smiling so he seems fine but that is not enough reassurance for me since he will smile even if it is the end of the fucking world.
Kelly comes downstairs smiling and tucking a piece of blond gain behind her ear. She is wearing cotton shorts and a white crop top. Liam sees her and he fully checks her from head to toe. I don’t know if I am the only one that noticed but I’ve been observing their interactions over the years and there is always tension between them. I think that is inevitable that something will happen at some point between them.
Am I happy about this?
No.
Not because Liam is not a nice guy, I just know that he is dealing with a lot of shit right now and Kelly is so easily influenced and so irresponsible that she will immediately be dragged down with him. I am not going to stop her though. I will just try and lead them to the right path without any of them getting hurt, especially mu sister.
“Hello Rapunzel.” He says smiling playfully at Kelly.
Liam also has a habit of not calling people by their names and making up stupid nicknames.
He called me Maleficent once. I cant say I am mad though. Angelina Jolie embodied her after all.
“ Dang have you ever consider advertising shoes because this legs are fucking-“
“Ew stop.” Dylan says nudging him lightly on the ribs.
Kelly smiles shutting at the wooden table instead of the couch.
Of course.
“ I can’t, my mother does not let  me leave this tower .” She says dramatically smiling and making Liam smile too.  Well in that aspect she has a lot in common with Rapunzel.
The door bell rings and I glance around the tree of them wondering if they are expecting anyone. Kelly puts her arms up like I am accusing her for murder.
“ I didn’t do anything” She says. I fail to pay attention to anyone else because I am heading to the door to see who it is. I open the door and a tall lean body is in my view.
His scent hits me. For once more.
What is he doing here?
“ What are you doing here?” I ask shutting the door once he is inside , putting my hands on my hips.
“That’s how you welcome guest in your house?” He tells me smiling. He is wearing a white Button down with navy blue trousers and a matching blazer. He takes it off and rolls up his sleeves while he gently places it on the hanger besides the door.
He looks so put together and expensive. Again.
“Guests are supposed to be invited you are just an intruder”
He cocks an eyebrow and looks at Dylan then. I turn and look at him connecting the dots. Of course he invited him. What is Dylan’s obsession with inviting him over I will never understand.
“ You invited him” I don’t ask. I just state the fact.
“Throwing me under the bus immediately.” He says to Astor humour lacing his tone.
“I wasn’t aware that it meant to be confidential.” He tells him and Dylan shrugs. Liam makes a grimace like this sentence was too difficult to understand.
“ What the heck dude. you talk like a fucking lawyer in a court” . I like the vocabulary that he uses. He thinks every word before he says it and it’s  really damn attractive. If only he wasn’t this cocky about it.
“ In contrast to you. You managed to abuse the English vocabulary in one sentence. It’s impressive.” He says calmly.
“ Who the fuck is this guy and why did you invite him?” He turns to  Dylan.
“ I would like to know that too actually.”
“ I like him. He is a cool guy.” Astor smiles. He is feeding of his egoism too damn much.
“Well get a room then, go on a date with him somewhere else.”
“ You know that’s not what I meant come on.”
My sister then eyes him and he turns his attention to her.
“ Hi I am Kelly.”  She waves her hand with a smile on her face.
“ I know.” What an ass.
“ Right, I forgot the whole party, vomit thing, sorry.”
“ Don’t apologise to him.” I say to her. She really has no reason too its not like she vomited on his clothes. Which would be very amusing now that I am considering it. She holds her hands up at my comment.
He looks at me smiling again with that annoying smile.
“ You look beautiful.” He says acknowledging my v cut black shirt with a white knee length office shirt. My neck heats and I feel my cheeks redden. Why does this have to happen in front of everyone?
“You look the same.” I shot back a failing attempt to not show my uneasiness.
“ Hot, smart, well dressed?” I roll my eyes so much that it hurts, my neck heats more though.
All of the above.
“Omg! Are you blushing?” Dylan says smiling amusingly pointing a finger at me.
“ She can blush?”
I look at both Liam and Dylan shooting daggers with my eyes.
“ Can both of you shut up?” I say annoyed at this point. 
I turn to Astor again but his gaze is fixated on my sister. I look at her to see what he is observing and I see her hands shaking. She is playing with her hair as an attempt to not pay attention to that. Her breaths are shallow and fast like she was running and her face is sweaty. Is she having a panic attack?
“Kelly?” I ask closing of the distance and heading closer to her.
“Mhm?” She does not even look at me. She stares at the void like she is drown in her thoughts. I feel Liam’s and Dylan’s concerned gaze even though there are behind me. She suddenly sits up and runs straight outside the house at the backyard. I glance at everyone around mw quickly. Dylan and Liam are on their feet and Astor looks at me.
“ I will go talk to her” I say to everyone and head out the door.
I find my sister sitting down at the ground  her arms hugging her knees and she  is crying trying to breath and failing only gasps leaving her mouth. I start panicking too, my stomach turns seeing her like this. I crouch down in front of her legs and I touch her wrist.
“ Kelly, calm down breath slowly you are okay.” She nods but I am not much of a help since she still can’t catch her breath. She is paler and then she starts heaving at the ground  in front of me and she actually vomits after some time. And it has gotten on my shoes. On my legs actually. I try to focus on my sister who is done vomiting but still can’t catch her breath crying.
Astor shows up Inspecting the situation for a second and then he crouches down beside me.
“ Kelly? Can you mimic my breath?” He says so calm and collected.
She nods rapidly and follows the breathing pattern that Astor is showing to her. Her breaths are now calmer and the shaking on her hands has stopped. After some time she calms down completely and looks at both of us with clear mind now.
Astor helped again. He is like a mechanic god showing up when I need him.
“ I am sorry.” Kelly says wiping her tears.
“Don’t apologise “ I run my hand through her hair soothing her.
“ Has this happened before?”
“ Maybe two or three times.” She tells me. Why didn’t she tell me? Hurt is lacing my eyes and I try to shallow a knot in my throat. Astor puts a hand on the small of my back like he can read my mind.
“ Why didn’t you tell me?” I try not to sound offended, I don’t want to make her feel guilty, this is not about me.
“ I didn’t want to worry you.” She says looking down almost whispering. She sees the vomit on me and she looks at me with more apologises in her eyes.
I shake my head like its okay and kiss her forehead.
“Go take a warm shower and I will come to your room to talk after okay? “
She nods and looks at Astor.
“ Thank you, sorry you keep seeing me vomiting it’s not a hobby of mine I promise.” She attempts a smile.
He smiles back at her nodding. “ Don’t worry, I’ve met people under worst circumstances.” Kelly nods and goes inside the house. The moment she leaves I am becoming more aware of the smell of vomit on me and the feel of it on m-
No don’t think of it. We rise up and I take a sharp breath trying to ignore the vomit. Astor glances around him and takes the garden hose nearing me.
“What are you doing?” I ask even though its obvious.
“Take off your heels.” he says offering me his hand to stabilize myself as I take them off . I take it desperate to clean the vomit off of me. When I step out of them he opens the faucet and the water washes down my legs.
When there are finally clean he turns off the water and puts the hose back in its place.  He comes near me and brushes a strand of hair behind my ear. “ Are you okay?”
I am not the one who had a panic attack. I wish I was though. The only thing Ive ever wanted for Kelly was to be happy and honestly, I thought she was too. She always has this big smile on her face but I should have known that this is only a facet. I should have been a better sister.
“I am just worried about her” I love how close he is. How his hand is on top of my crossed one touching my elbow. I feel safe with him. At ease. Like he could handle anything.
“ You worry about everyone.”
“ How do you know that? If you say I know everything I swear I will slap you.”
He smiles and I try not to smile too but I am failing.
“ I’ve seen how you take care of your sister. Not only now but since you were little. I remember one time when she fell while running around in one of the meetings that our parents dragged us and you immediately went to her.” How can he just remember this kind of things so clearly. I remember that day though. I was so worried about her even though it was just a small cut her knee. Kelly always run around as a child. She couldn’t sit still.
He rubs my hand up and down with his finger the contact making me shiver and I am drown in his green eyes.
“ You wiped her tears and took a napkin and wiped her wound telling her that she is okay and that you love her. You were only 8.”
He looks at me like I am the most caring person in the world. I am not, but his gaze feels good. He touches my cheek and he brings his mouth to mine. His kiss is more sweet and tender this time. His other hand descents on my waist and he is pulling me closer to him. My whole body heats and I cup his face with my hand a sound getting caught up in his throat. God he knows how to kiss. His other hand grips my neck and he brings me even closer. I taste his mouthwash and his ocean perfume that hits my nostrils once again.
“ Oh my god sorry I am gone” Dylan says standing in the door way. I pull away and Astor turns around acknowledging Dylan.
I am not embarrassed or anything I just dont want them to form any conclusions about this.
“Is something wrong?” Astor asks him.
“No” He is rubbing his neck and seems anxious. Something is definitely wrong.
“What is it Dylan?” I ask.
“ I need to talk to you about Liam.” He says looking directly at me.
I am positive that this is about his asshole brother. An anxious feeling is replacing the heat on my body from Astors kiss.
“ He left?”
“ Yes” he says nodding and putting his hands in his jean pockets
“ Tell me” I say to him. He looks with hesitation between me and Astor.  I want him to talk to me in front of Astor. I try to convince myself that I want him to do that because I trust him. But in reality I just want to test him. I want to see if he will stick with me. If he will help me. If he is worth it.
“ We can talk later al-“
“ No. I want him to hear it.” Astor looks at me with a confused expression like he is trying to figure me out and then it clicks. Realisation replaces the confusion in his eyes and he looks mentally satisfied. He knows I am testing him and he gladly accepts the challenge, of course he does.
“You sure ?” He eyes me.
“Yes.”
“ No offence, I like you” He tells Astor. I don’t  think he would be easily offended by anyone but sure.
“ None taken”
“ Alright come inside then” Dylan motions inside. I am still barefoot and there is no way that  I am walking all the distance from the yard to the door barefoot.
“ You want me to carry you” Astor asks half serious half mockingly.
“ I would rather stay here.  Could any of you just bring me another pair of shoes?”  Astor nods and heads inside.
Does he even know where my bedroom is? I am sure he will figure it out one way or another.
“Sooo” Dylan smiles. Oh here we go.
“ You are a thing now?”
We are something. I don’t like putting labels in my relationships. How does a couple even decides this. Is it like the classic question “ will you be my girlfriend?” God no.
  Let’s just say that I am trying to see if he will stick with me.
“ No. I don’t know. We have to focus on more important things now you know. Kelly just had a panic attack and apparently something is wrong with Liam too.”
“Your happiness is important.” My heart swells a little. Is nice feeling like he does not see me as a cold bitch. Dylan always cared for me since we were little even if his favourite one was Kelly. He once beat up a guy when I was 14 because he called me a cunt. I
“I am perfectly happy without a man but I appreciate the concern.”
Astor then returns with a pair of heels that I quickly put on.
“ Thank you” I say to Astor and he just nods.
“ Can you just wait for a minute to clean up my legs?” I say mainly to Dylan.
“Yeah sure.” He says and I got to the bathroom feeling extremely dirty. The vomit, the ground, god I need to go to the bathroom immediately.