Edge of the Dark // Noa Olivar

xiii. three steps back

During the bus ride to the warehouse, Joey received another message from Noa, repeating her offer for a ride. She obviously had to decline her offer since she was most likely going to get there late and quickly stuffed her phone into her pocket, letting out a heavy sigh.

Imogen eyed her with a hint of concern. "Is Noa an okay topic to talk about?"

Joey glanced over, puzzled by her question. "Uh, sure. Why do you ask?"

"Well, we haven't talked a lot since my mom's death — I'm really sorry about, by the way." Imogen added quickly, feeling guilty for the lack of communication on her part. "I shouldn't have stopped talking to you like that."

"It's okay, really. I mean it." Joey said, giving Imogen a reassuring smile and a gentle pat on the thigh. "I understand why you did. After everything that happened, I don't blame you. Plus, it would've been tough to stay in touch with me being in juvie, so it's fine."

"God, that's another thing we need to talk about." Imogen exclaimed, her eyes widening slightly as she turned to face Joey more directly. "Literally so much has happened. Tell me about it?"

"About what happened with Noa, or juvie?" Joey asked, shifting face her friend as well and feeling a sense of familiarity at the action. With some time still left before the bus reached their stop, it seemed like a perfect opportunity to talk.

"Both."

"Short story: I'm an idiot who ruined everything for myself." Joey replied, closing her eyes as a wave of regret hit her hard. "Beasley caught me with drugs, and someone was already accusing me of dealing — which they weren't necessarily wrong about. Anyways, I got sent to juvie for possession of illegal substances. So did Noa. And our entire fucking relationship blew up in flames in there."

"What did you do?"

"The first few days were fine. We were separated into different cells, but even then, we spent as much time as we could together whenever we were let out to eat or into the courtyard. It was going okay, but then I found out Carter lost custody of Kiara, and I got really angry." Joey explained, her voice lowering. It felt too real to talk about it loudly, to hear her own words. Imogen didn't comment on it; instead, she strained her ears to hear every word, allowing her to speak about it freely and comfortably.

"I was only caught because I stopped at her house that night. If I hadn't, I would've been fine, and my sister wouldn't have been taken to a whole different place. And I knew it wasn't Noa's fault, so I tried to not blame her for it, but every time I saw her in that courtyard, I was reminded of how badly I fucked up." Joey's words trailed off as the sadness overwhelmed her.

She leaned forward, resting her elbows on her thighs. Her hands came up to cover her face, fingers trembling slightly as they pressed against her skin. The posture was almost a shield, as if she could hide from the pain or the reality of what she was saying. It was small, vulnerable gesture, one that spoke volumes about the hurt she was trying to contain.

It was a rare occurrence for Imogen to see Joey like this, so raw and vulnerable. Her heart tightened at the sight of her friend struggling to hold it together. Gently, she reached out and placed a comforting hand on Joey's back, rubbing slow, reassuring circles like she'd seen Noa do whenever she was trying to comfort her. It always worked back then, so Imogen hoped it'd have the same effect now. She still didn't interrupt her, though. It was obvious there was more to do the story, and if Joey needed to catch her breath before she continued, Imogen would wait as long as she needed.

"I stupidly took it out on her. She wanted to give me time to cool off, because she knew I was having a hard time knowing my sister was living with some fucking stranger instead of our house. And like the worst part of that was that she was in juvie too you know — for a crime she didn't even commit, and she was still putting my feelings before hers." Joey continued, drawing in deep breaths as she got her words out. "She was being patient with me. And I still managed to royally fuck it all up, Im. I told her I didn't want to be with her anymore. That our relationship wouldn't work. It was going to rot eventually, right? So why not break things off right then?"