Healing Light

5: Stage Two.

Irene woke up in her bed, she laid down and sighed 'maybe I can't do it without him.' she thought to herself, she felt guilty, she felt pained, she missed him. She wanted him back.
She stayed in bed, she felt tears running down her face.

After she finally got up, she decided to leave her house, she walked to the convenience store, she sighed and breathed in the fresh air. She walked and waked for what seemed like miles. 
When she finally got there she walked in with a smile, a weak smile on her face. she tried to keep her composure as she looked at all the Ramen, she remembered how much he loved ramen.

she picked up a rice ball, a drink and chips. She walked up to the cashier, she set them down and watched as he scanned the items, she could barely make out the total with how loud her thoughts were swarming around her head like a bees nest. 
When she payed she smiled dimly taking the bag and walking out. 

She entered in her apartment, put away the stuff she bought and she walked to her room, instead of laying in her bed like she had for the past two weeks, she walked to her desk and pulled open her laptop.

She turned on soft music as she did some history research, she did this to take her mind off of the eighty thousand thoughts swimming among her head and making her think about how she has acted. But when she did think back on that night, she realized how irritational, accusatory, and mean she acted.

Or did he just manipulate her like how he planned?

She didn't know but she wanted it to end, she wanted to just live her own life without for even a se3cond about him, she wished that he didn't matter to her, but he did. She STILL cared about him, even though he did her wrong, she wanted to hold him and make him feel better.

Rather, she wanted him to hold her, to tell her that it would all be okay. She sighed and just focused on her research, she didn't want to think about him anymore, so she pushed him to the back of her mind

She grabbed a notebook out of her desk drawer and started to take notes on what she was learning. Ironically, she hasn't noticed that it's the notebook he bought her. She focused all of her time onto the research. 

A few hours have passed and at this point she was getting sleepy so she closed the notebook, before putting it back she noticed the cover. Then she was brought back to the time he bought it for her.
He only bought it for her because he knew how much she loved to take note on anything, whether it was feelings, research, or song ideas, she sighed and opened the notebook, one of the first things she wrote about was a song idea she had, she flipped to the next page and it was research, then the next page was how she feeling, she wrote about her whole day and even dated it. She read it and smiled longingly. 

she missed those days, but she didnt want to think about it so she ripped out the page and threw it away, she placed notebook back into the drawer and she went to take a shower.

After her shower she laid down on her bed and she just, stared. She was thinking about the days that they were happy; Soon sleep took over her and her eyes fell heavily.