Recently you've been feeling insecure. Needless to say it hurts a little because the majority of the time you feel safe and comfortable in your own skin and you know your self worth but there are times... like these where you see a gorgeous girl at the beach or by the pool and you cant help but see the comparison.
So today you spent your time trying on so many outfits over and over trying to feel pretty in at least one before your boyfriend rafe came over.
He always made you feel confident and always loved to show you off. However you cant seem to lighten up, you cant seem to shake the feeling that you're simple not beautiful and just average.
Instead you decide to step away from the clothes you've dumped on the floor after a fiale dfashion show. your makeup is on but you dont feel like it did anything, your hair isnt hairign the way you want it to and nothign is going right today.
You pull out your phone and text rafe.
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You sigh and throw your phone onto you bed. You knew you weren't going to get anywhere with him, if you even said your had a small headache he wouldn't leave your side until it was gone. You do what any reasonable person would do in this situation and bury yourself back in your bed shutting off the lights and pretending nothing exists.
You mindlessly scroll though you phoen as you hear the front door click open. a sigh leaves your mouth as you bury your face in your pillow.
"y/n?" you hear your boyfriends voice as he slowly walks into your room. On any other day it would pain him to see the mess as rafe is a sever neat reak and cleans like he lives for it. However you feel the bed dip as rafe sits down.
"i got some snacks, uh and a coffee" he whispers. you start to feel tears pool in your eyes and you dont dare show your face. your mascara is probably ruined and you tears would've satine dyour cheeks by now.
"thank you" you mumble.
Rafe looks around your room at the messy clothes, and the cluttered makeup laying around. He sighs and turns on your lamp as he starts to tidy up. He always does this. There have been one too many incidents where hes verbally attacked sarah for moving his stuff, you told him hes probably got ocd but he refuses to belive theres soemthign wrong wwith him.
"you dont have to do that" you sniffle taking a sip of the coffee rafe bought you. its s little hot but perfect.
"ill just keep cleaning until you talk to me" he mutters.
You look over at the bag of snacks and feel llike you shouldnt eat them. you already feel big enough. "i just feel like shit rafe i already told you"
"yeah through a half answered text" rafe speaks with an annoyed tone in his voice and he never like sit when peopel are direct iwth him so that kinda your bad but you cant help it.
"why are you with me?" you ask him. You wiped the tears from yoru eyes and fixed you hair. Maybe you were being dramatic or maybe its something you should speak about more but you have no idea.
"what? im with you because i love you" Rafe comes back over to you bed and sits across from you. He stares intently into your eyes and starts to notice your smudged makeup and runnign mascsra.
Rafes never been good at emotons, empathy even recognizing peoples mood. Sometimes he critisizes himself for it but he also never cared until you. He hates the fact that if jj, pope, kie, anyone of youre friends with would know exactly what to say but he doesnt, thats why you just blamed it on being 'sick'. you didnt want to have to explain something even you dont udnerstand.
"Why are you upset, did i do something because i..."
"no" you say cutting in "you didn't do anything wrong"
"okay" he says nodding. you can see him trying to figure out what's wrong without being frystrated enough to demand an answer "well, what... happend?"
A sigh leaves you mouth as you run a hand through your hair. "I mean I tried to get ready this morning... I mean I guess I did but"
You look down at your nails nervously. You had never really had something like this happen around Rafe before. The two of you were always known to be powerful and confident. It's an ego deflater to feel the way you do right now.
"But I just don't feel good" you say finally "I feel ugly, like I'm not a pretty as I should be, like I'm not as confident as I should feel"
As you eyes meet Rafes he holds a sincere expression. He nods Truely trying to understand it but he would never look at you seeing anything but your beauty, inside and out.
"Really?" He says shifting his weight moving closer to you.
"It's stupid and it's bullshit" A laugh leaves your lips trying to downplay your emotions "sorry I'm being dramatic I know"
Rafe sighs pulling you into his embrace as the two of you fall to the sheets of your bed
"Baby I wouldn't change anything about you, not even your messy room" you can tell from the tone of his voice he is smiling.
"I could show you a million different ways that I can love you" he mumbles kissing the top of your head.
"Thank you" your voice is barley above a whisper, as if it were just the two of you left in the world floating on a cloud.
"Don't thank me yet" ah yes, once again Rafe pulls out his flirty teasing tone and you perk your head up to look at him.
"What does that mean?" You inquire a smile forming in your face.
"Well..." he grins "maybe I can't show you a million ways right now but I will show you a preview"
Rafe flips the two of you over as he hover by your face kissing your cheeks lovingly and feathery.
"A preview?" You ask reading your eyebrows
"Mhmm"
Fuck. Rafes voice radiates through your entire body as it comes out all husky and seductive. As much as you loved the kind and cute side of Rafe nothing could compare to this... especially not in the bedroom. "Just relax love" he whispers kissing your neck slowly but surely allowing him to tease you as he enjoys every moment of it.
A/n - does this need a second part or should I leave it here lmao
