Catastrophe

Chapter One

Stan

"Stanley, pack your things, we're moving." Mom's voice echoed in my ears like a bullet through my heart. Moving meant leaving Kyle, Kenny, Cartman, Butters and Wendy. No more Craig and Tweek holding hands on the bus. No more Token comforting Clyde after Bebe dumped him again. No more Nicole telling Red about her time with Token in gym class. No more Jimmy telling jokes or Goth kids smoking behind the school. No more Mr. Garrison acting like a tyrannical madman. No more aliens, monsters, man-bear-pigs, or human chili. No more giant guinea pigs attacking the town. No more spontaneous trips to other countries. No more dealing with Cartman and his crazy schemes. No more crazy adventures. No more South Park.

I was born and raised in the insanity of South Park. I've handled aliens, politicians, monsters, and madness like no one's ever seen before. This was my home. My blood pumped with the fresh mountain air of the Colorado small town life. I was used to its cold and beautiful snow covered terrain and its colorful and unique people. I didn't want to move. "Why?"

"Your father and I just simply can't make it work. Shelly's old enough to fend for herself if your father passes out drunk on the floor so she gets to choose who she lives with. You are too young so you will be moving with me."

"I'd choose you anyways, Mom, but I don't want to leave my friends." I sighed, standing up to head upstairs in my family home for what could very well be the last time. My chest was throbbing hard with every heartbeat and my throat burned with every word. "You don't have to worry though, I won't fight you."

"Honey, I know this is hard for you, I am sorry, but maybe you can try to find a bright side to our new lives." My mother spoke gently, both of us knowing deep in our hearts that that was not going to happen. The result of moving would be a huge spike in my depression. It was already starting. I had struggled on the edge of a cynical depression for years now and the only thing keeping me from toppling over the edge was the red headed Jew I called my super best friend forever. Kyle Broflovski. I was a drunk from the age of ten just to keep him happy without feeling the loss of letting him go. Now not even the extremes I had taken to keep him in my life mattered. I was leaving. Something I had sworn never to do was leave Kyle alone to deal with Cartman's shit, and yet, here I am, doing just that.

"Mom," I stopped halfway up the stairs, "Where are we moving to?"

"California, Los Angeles to be exact. I got a job out there working at a celebrity plastic surgery clinic." Mom smiled at me softly. Her brown hair and warm brown eyes matched my sister, Shelly's perfectly and made her appearance feel as welcoming as a hug in a winter storm. "It's going to be a huge change from small town Colorado, but I know if we keep our heads up, we'll make it just fine."

"Okay, Mom."

Kyle

I woke up to the vibrations of the car at roughly five am. I looked around, not recognizing my surroundings, only my brother asleep in his car seat beside me and the back of my parents' heads as they spoke softly in the front seat. Ike's face was stained with faded and old tears and he clung tightly to his old teddy as he slept. The sound of a soft yet sad song drifted up from the car's radio. I turned to look at the back of my mother's ruby hair as she spoke, "Oh Gerald, do you think he'll hate us?"

"Sheila, we uprooted him from his childhood home in the middle of the night without telling him. He's probably never going to see his best friend again, and will have to endure his Jersey blood for the next seven years. I know this is the opportunity of a lifetime for us, the new job being the main plus, but we can't blame him if he does. He didn't even get to tell the boys goodbye. Ike at least got to say goodbye to that Firkle kid he's started to hang out with here lately. Kyle's going to be hard on us for a while." I couldn't believe it. I was no longer in South Park. I was halfway across the country and possibly never going to see my best friends ever again. The only bright side was no more Cartman, but I had lost Stan, lost Kenny, no more Butters either. Why did I have to lose them? I closed my eyes and imagined the last time I saw my friends. It had been earlier that day, or I guess it was yesterday, at Stark's Pond. Stan was singing quietly to himself, Kenny was feeding a baby bunny he had been hiding in his pocket, Butters was watching some YouTuber talk about the culture and traditions of native Hawaiians, and Cartman was yelling at his mom via a cell phone. I was reading a modernized Romeo and Juliet novel while leaning against Stan's back.