God, Satan and everything Inbetween

A tale of beasts and lions

I woke up. A salty taste in my mouth caused me to flinch. My eyes slowly opened and I saw it. I often wondered what it was, was it a dragon or just my imagination? Questions raced through my head. This same incident had happened for 16 years now. It started on the day of my 2000th birthday and it has kept happening ever since.
But screw that, now I need to get to work, after that I'll get pissed and go to sleep. The cycle never ends. The pain of immortality has swept me into a lonely depression which I cannot escape. I slipped on my clothes. And headed out the door.
The weather was good,nothing I hadn't felt before but it was nice. Children were playing in the summer heat while a homeless man cried out for help in an alleyway,ignored by his selfish fellow humans who claimed they were good. I am one of those people and I'm proud. I quickly turned away and entered the deserted train station. I walked across the track making my way to my job. The flowers bloomed while empty cans of beer stained the forgotten land with the feel of uneasiness. I thought about a movie I had recently watched about a Paedophile in jail. I then thought about the lies I was taught in school like chewing gum distracts you from your work. Then I saw a tall building marking its territory in the sky as a woman jumped off it clutching a child in her hand, leaving this world. I sighed because I have seen this all before. I've seen that movie hundreds of times.I've been told that lie and I have seen the death of a child. In the middle of a battlefield I held my gun while a tear formed In my eye and I witnessed the death of my friends. Now there is nothing that can phase me. I trampled on a puppies corpse which was now an emotionless shell blocking the path for fools like me. That puppy had lived and died but not me. I question have I even lived, I'm in a state of consciousness where I'm not even sure if I truly breath, eat or drink or if it just reality tricking me to think I still do things that normal humans can do. Can I feel my breath anymore? When was the last time I communicated with another living soul? The truth is I'm lonely. Your lonely. We are all fucking lonely. Once, I was watching tv and discovered a child peering through my window, it did not concern me at the time. But the creature would appear every Sunday for ten minutes. Finally I got out of my chair and fired three bullets at the window which then hit the child. Blood poured out as the boy screamed. I then ate the child.No one questioned me, no,they idealised me, they said I was GOD.Later I gave birth to my son. He was exactly like me, they worshipped him and loved him. I resigned to wondering these streets alone and to question the world around me. When I became the leader of over a billion people that's when I felt important but I wasn't really loved. But now I see the birds in an endless battle to save them self from the lie of humanity. I stopped talking to many people because of life. I'm afraid of the darkness and light. I can't even trust myself.who am I? What does he want? Can I trust the apocalypse? These are examples of questions I ask Myself before I doze off into a never ending nightmare known as life. After I got off the tracks I entered the nearest pub.i'd do my work later. The sign said open but no one was inside. I sat at the bar and drank some poison. I could remember having a conversation with myself when I was young, I wanted to kill everyone around me,so I did. They hated me so I made them obey. And now they quote me but I don't care.The masochistic life I've lead has become a mind game with my inner self which has resulted in the meth inside my veins. I took a piss in the toilet and left. I entered my work building which had many floors filled with offices. It was deserted apart from a dead police officer with a knife in his neck.the stench of blood possessed my sense of smell. I took of his clothes. I entered the lift and traveled to the 8th dimension. It was the rooftop. I was ready to jump. Humanity did not need me to fool them With lies so they listen to their shallow dictators. It was time to be skeptic. I stepped off the side of the building,wind gushing through my hair as I plummeted to the ground.this was the end. A gate opened up, flames peering through. I fell into a hole. I woke up in a pit of fire all I saw was a mirror, my naked body being heated by the cries. I turned around and saw a gate. A woman stood dancing like death but no music.blood poured from my palms as I cried. I had been defeated by mankind. I expected it sometime but now that it has happened I feel like all my power had left me in an instant. She wandered forward,her body decaying with every step as her flesh turned to liquid and melted into the ground. Her skeleton pierced through my skin and entered me. We were one.i saw a piercing light below me and I dropped onto a rooftop. The same one that I tried to kill my self on. Something was different, I looked down. I was a woman. When I was younger I wished to be female but they called me unnatural. I lived my life inside a shell which I hated just to spare some feelings of hypocrites. The devil. That woman is that who I am? Who the hell am I? I looked down from the rooftop but no one was There just crashed cars. This silence is the most violent thing I've felt ever since I crawled out of that womb. My first romance was when I was 15. She was beautiful. I used to go to her house and we would get stoned. I remember her face and everything about her. One day I walked in on her, cutting her self. She said the pain relieved her from her nightmares that haunted her in her sleep. That was the first time I cried for unselfish reasons. I couldn't handle it. I stopped meeting with her and communication was cut off completely. Three weeks later she killed herself with her dads gun. But he didn't care. He was an old selfish bastard who didn't care about anything. Now that I think about I'm him. I am an old bastard who's been to hell and back and still isn't phased by it. I went back to my flat and stared at the tv for a while. Static played as I drank my whiskey until it all felt like a dream. My father used to drink when he wasn't busy beating my mum. Sometimes all at once. I believe I have become him as well. I remember when my mother used to take me to the beach when my father was too much to handle. We would eat ice cream and talk about different animals. She killed herself while my father was too high too comprehend reality. That was when I as 17 and had gathered slight emotion. My father kicked me out the house at 18. I returned five years later with a sledge hammer and smashed his skull into non-existence. That was when I became famous. I was beloved by families across the world. No matter what I did,rape, torture or theft. It didn't matter because I was a hero to them. My mask hid my scars and the darkness covers my blood stained chest. I turned the tv off and fell asleep. My dreams drifted me off into a lake. A woman stood in a beautiful white dress. She was the same one that entered my body. She looked at me. Crying into the lake every tear sadder than the last. She then picked up a gun from the ground and put it to her head and fired. Her dress stained with the blood of her childhood. I guess I'm just a spectator in this world. I see sadness and I generate sadness. The depression I own is mine. When I was in university I started playing piano. I later joined a metal band named tainted system. I was vocalist and pianist. We sang about our lives and I remember one of the songs being about a woman in a white dress killing herself. Yeah. It went like:
She dances across the lake as she lights her self aflame.
Good times. I then woke up to the sound of man being raped on the floor above me. I then woke up again into my reality. I stared at the walls and wondered what the other band members were doing. I then picked up a knife and slit my throat open. A string of light poured out as the woman who entered me climbed out. She stared at me and then said
'I am here to kill you.'
I stared at her blankly and realised the oddness of the situation. She then reached into my chest and pulled out my heart. It was black. She then flew off into the sky.
'What the hell was that?' I screamed. I then realised I had my old male body. A frail male afraid of the outside world. I then fell unconscious.
She was 15 at the time, an ordinary teenager. Rebellious and charming. Her friends idled her but something went wrong. She saw the truth and died. I then woke up in a white room. The woman from before was holding my heart. She was her, my first relationship. Tears trickled down her eyes as she slowly crushed my beating heart. Blood pouring out and marking her pale skin. She was the devil and I her slave. She then disappeared. Leaving a splatter of blood on the floor. Life started to fade out in a pattern of depression. I thought about the time I had forced myself on top of a tree and how high I used to get. My girl friend at the time was a real lover of nature (If you know what I mean.). Darkness covered what was left of my dark soul as I plummeted to hell. I landed in a cocoon of fire. A horned man stood in front of me. This was the end. He grabbed me and slowly carved a line in my chest. I squirmed with pain. He then whispered
"You are destined to be a robot fighter"
I replied with
"What the fu-"
Then without a moments notice I was transported to a battle field. I was inside a mech (a giant fighting robot). Right in front of me was another mech. Pure shining metal with a red coating. It was holding some kind of sword. The sky was an apocalyptic grey with a slight wind drifting through the dry air. I was disorientated and unprepared. The Machine lunged forward, piercing through my stylish metal with one gracious swoop. Wires flung out in a frenzy of pain. I had realised that I was hooked up to the robot, what it felt, I felt. If I moved so would the machine. I picked up a sword next to me and jogged on the spot. The machine ran forward leaving nothing but a footprint in the forgotten ground. 3 jabs later and the other mech was down. I then chopped off its head.
"What the fuck do I do now?" I shouted but not expecting an answer.
I sighed and laid on the metal floor. A cold feeling drifted on my back. I pondered of something great but then came back into reality. I woke up in a hospital room. I felt tired, I refused to get up or move. No one was around,it was deserted. I was next to a window in the top right corner in the room. Outside I saw a family taking there father who was in a wheelchair out for some fresh air. I lay in my bed slightly uncomfortable but glad I was back in a slightly more normal reality. A doctor came in not saying a word. He slowly came over, tears sting his pale blue eyes. He then placed his hands on my throat, at this point I accepted my fate.I was satan and God . I was the universe. The doctor left the room with a face of total pleasure written all over his face. I remembered when I was a teen, I liked two guys who obviously were straight but I persisted. In the end I lost my only friends just because I needed someone. I was a fragile creature, I still am. My mental state has plummeted to a state of no fucking recovery.
Rain poured down outside but finally I fell asleep. Maybe I didn't fall asleep, I don't fucking know. But it was like I was falling down into an abyss. I saw a light but it disappeared, now I know the truth of who I am, now I can die.

The end.