5 years

october pov

It's been 3 days since chase died l haven't been back to school because l don't have the guts to look at all those pity filled eyes my heart still sched but l understood he was in a better place than he was here, at the funeral l noticed alot of chases bullies appeared because apparently they felt bad which l don't believe the did this they caused me and his family immeasurable pain.

His mom has drowned herself in work so has his dad l have been around there house alot as it reminds me of him and l have been comforting his brother and his little sister they are so sweet. I pulled my phone out my picket to see a message from his mom asking if l could come help clean up his room a bit because she still can't step foot in there without having a panic attack it kills me to see a once happy woman lose herself so fast.

Ad l walk up the stairs l see his mom "oh, my darling October thankyou so much for coming here on such short notice, l just can't stand seeing his room like that" she says sadly giving me a weak smile "aunty kyla lm so happy you called me don't worry its not a bother at all" I replied

We walked inside and the first person l noticed was a very sad looking mathew holding a very confused looking leah, her hair was tied in the most adorable pigtails as soon as she saw me she jumped our of Mathew's arms and ran straight to me "how are you my baby Lee Lee " l cooed while she giggled " lm good thankyou sissy but l miss chaseey, when is he coming back ?" She grumbled "l don't  know Lee Lee but l miss him so much too " l said while kissing her nose making her turn bright pink.

"Momma is taking mathew and me to the parks " leah exclaimed excitedly l smiled a sorta half smile, "ok leah, mathew we have to go it's getting late " aunty kyla said in a authorative making sure both the children started walking. " you can take anything you like " she whispered in my ear just before she left, causing my heart to ache, remembering the real reason lm here.

I walked up to his room, smelling the familiar musky vanilla scent l looked around and decide to start with his desk and  bookshelf l grabbed a few of his pens and his his prized golf ball, then k grabbed a few books l have memories with him reading to me and then l suddenly noticed a book with the name october on it so I grabbed that to planning on reading it later.
As l looked around l realized a wanted his perfume and his hoodies, so l can smell like him like before. A lone tear dropped from my eye when l realised l would never see him again.

After a slow walk l finally reached home my stepmother Maria was at the kitchen baking my favourite apple pie "darling, are you looking thinner " she exclaimed  " finally since that boy is dead you can finally lose some weight" she mumbled my jaw clenched thinking of the way that's how she felt of Chase, l stormed up to my room completely ignoring her presence and her snarky comments, l packed away all of chases stuff and then l put away his book not having the guts to read it now.......

Maybe one day l will.