I don't think I'll ever be able to trust somebody enough to be vulnerable around them. Not even the people I hold close to my heart.
I have a feeling that my lack of trust will make my relationship with my partner strained in the future.
I want to trust him badly, to be vulnerable around him and be able to show any emotion instead of just happiness, but I can't. Every time I've trusted somebody in the past and was able to be vulnerable with them, I wrecked everything and the bond was broken.
I can't have that happen again. Even if it kills me to not show most of my emotions.