JUST LIKE HEAVEN, elijah hewson.

005. I Bet on Losing Dogs

005. I Bet on Losing Dogs.
trigger warning for abusive parent/child dynamic.

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It was a rare warm, sunny day in Killiney and as Elijah watched the sea of emerald jerseys making their way to Aviva Stadium from out of the window. He felt a twinge of worry in his gut.

No— knots of worry. Not for himself, no. What if something happened to her? Or what if her dad disappointed her again? Honestly, he really hoped Tracy had a good day. Even though she'd left him to do everything on his own. He smiled to himself as he thought back to her pleading expression last week. Elijah could tell something was playing on Tracy's mind. He could see it plainly on her face.

"What is it? You've been eyeballing me this whole time," he said as he glanced up at her whilst she completed inventory.

Tracy sighed looking slightly defeated.

"Look... I wasn't even gonna bother asking for the day off but Ireland is playing against France next Saturday—"

Elijah looked at her weirdly.

"Thought you didn't like Rugby," he interrupted.

Tracy looked at him with a pleading soft expression he hadn't witnessed before.

"I.. I don't. Look, I'll make it up to you somehow..." she paused and looked around awkwardly. "My dad got tickets for us to go to watch and... I haven't seen him in a while."

It was true. Tracy hated Rugby. Nothing to do with the sport itself - it reminded her too much of her father. But for him, especially since he was the one reaching out to her, she'd love it for those 80 minutes. Forget all he's done for those 80 minutes. Be father and daughter for those 80 minutes.

Elijah inwardly winced. Tracy hadn't told him anything explicit, yet there was enough for him to read between the lines. He should've known better than to question her. What Tracy really meant was: I don't like Rugby but I want to spend time with my father because he never does.

"Okay," he said quietly.

Tracy stared at him with a puzzled expression.

"Are you sure?"

Elijah nodded softly and smiled.

"Not a problem. I don't mind. You'll just have to repay me if the Strokes ever come to Dublin again."

Tracy nodded. She mumbled an awkward "thanks."

Elijah licked his lips and thought that's where the conversation would end but Tracy broke the silence.

"He doesn't make an effort to see us often. He shows up sometimes for birthdays and Christmas. I don't.. know why I said yes. Or why I'm looking forward to it. Usually, I would have said no."

Elijah hesitated to process her words. Tracy was still counting the cash in the register and the clinking of the coins was the only sound in the silence. Was she talking to herself? Maybe she felt she owed him an explanation? Or maybe... she was looking for a friend? He had to cross off each option one by one. He couldn't address it outright. She'd clam up about it.

"Tracy... You don't owe me an explanation. I understand. Or.. I don't... fuck. I just.."

Tracy paused and smiled sadly at him.

"I know... It's okay. I was just trying to sort my head out... Sorry."

She knew he was just trying to make her feel better. And it worked. She appreciated it.