Distance Jaywon

Confessions

Jay POV:
Our manager gives each of us a camera to film and en-log with. Sunoo tells our manager that we were going to be hanging out today so we only need one camera. Our manager nods in agreement as he smiles and assigns us with bodyguards to follow us throughout the day. I turn to Sunoo as I ask "So what do you want to do today?" Sunoo taps his chin as he looks up and thinks. "Let's watch a movie! Then get ice cream!" Sunoo says with a smile. Jungwon and I normally watch movies together. Although I doubt Jungwon wants anything to do with me. He's been avoiding me the whole time we were in the dinning room. "Umm Jay? Is that okay?" Sunoo asks as he tilts his head to the side and waves his hands in front of my face to get my attention. I blink a couple of times to get my mind back down to earth as I smile at Sunoo and say "Yeah that's perfect!" Sunoo grabs my arm as he excitedly drags me out of the dinning room. He then abruptly stops in his tracks causing me to bump into him. "Sorry! Why did you stop?" I ask Sunoo as I move from behind him and step to his side. I wish I didn't. When I turn my attention to where Sunoo was looking I see Sunghoon and Jungwon. Hugging. They're hugging. Why were they hugging. He's hugging Jungwon. My Jungwon. I hate this feeling. I hate feeling jealous. I have no right to feel this way. I tear my eyes away from Jungwon and Sunghoon as I turn my attention back to Sunoo. I sigh as I grab his arm and pull him far from them. "This wasn't part of the plan. They were supposed to get sad and realize they're feelings for us. They weren't supposed to get together. Why. Why..." Sunoo starts rambling as he stares at the ground. I firmly but gently grab his shoulders as I pull him into my chest and hug him. I gently ruffle his hair with my hand. He would normally freak out about this and yell at me for messing up his hair but this time he remains tense in my arms. I begin to gently pat his back in soothing motions as I whisper "Sunoo. It's okay. It's going to be okay. Things don't always go as planned." Sunoo tries to retort as he says "but.." although his voice cracks. "Sunoo you don't even know the full story. Maybe he's comforting Jungwon about something like I'm doing with you right now. You can't jump to conclusions." As I say this it seems to make Sunoo feel better as I feel his body relax in my arms. I gently pull him back as I say "Are you okay now?" Sunoo nods as he takes a deep breath and says "I could really use some ice cream right now." I can't help but chuckle at his response as I gently squeeze his shoulders as I say "Then let's go get some ice cream!"

Jungwon POV:
I feel a strong pair of arms yank me from the dining room into a hallway. I look up with panic in my eyes although it melts away the moment I see its Sunghoon. "Hyung what are you-?" I don't even finish my sentence as he hesitantly pulls me into his arms and tentatively wraps his arms around me. Despite his lack of words and nervous hands this hug made me feel a lot better. Sunghoon isn't one for physical affection so the fact that he's going out of his way to hug me and try to make me feel better helps me. I hesitantly hug him back and feel him slightly stiffen. I gently pull back as I take a step back "Thank you hyung." Sunghoon smiles as he pats my back as he says "It looked like you needed it." I weakly smile back. Sunghoon then says "I also think you need to talk to Jay." I feel fear shoot down my body as I look up at Sunghoon. "I can't... he'll hate me." Sunghoon fights back a chuckle as he says "Sorry but I think that's literally impossible. Jay is obsessed with you. You're his favorite person I don't think he could ever hate you." I shakily take a breath as I say "You don't know that." Sunghoon nods as he says "You're right I don't but Jay does. That's why you need to talk to him."

Jay POV:
Sunoo and I vlogged our way to the ice cream parlor and I smile to myself seeing that he appeared to be his regular smiley self. I playfully groan as Sunoo orders mint chocolate ice cream for himself. This causes him to rant to the camera asking engenes who they agree with. He then turns to me as he says "You have never even tried it! Yet you say it tastes like toothpaste! Why don't you give it a try?" I thank the worker once they gave us our ice cream. I decided on chocolate ice cream and watch as Sunoo quickly and happily digs into his ice cream. I eat my ice cream after I show the camera how it looks. Sunoo then grabs a spare spoon as he scoops out some ice cream and says "Try it." I look at him with a disgusted face causing him to pout as he again says "Try it!" I sigh and hesitantly take a bite of the ice cream and was pleasantly surprised. Sunoo must've read this from my face as he smiles brightly and says "Not bad right?" I nod in agreement as I say "It's actually not that bad. I'm sorry for hating on it." Sunoo laughs as he says "Told you so." Sunoo and I spend about an hour at the ice cream parlor talking and vlogging. We finally decide it's time to leave as we get back into the car and get driven back to the company. Once we arrive at the company Sunghoon walks up to Sunoo and I as he says "We need to talk." Sunoo turns his attention towards me asking with his eyes "Are you okay with me leaving?" I smile and nod my head as I do a shooing motion with my hands. Sunoo smiles back at me as he says "Thank you." With his eyes. I continue walking back to the rooms until I bump into someone. "Jungwon?"

Jungwon POV:
After Sunghoon and I talk for a bit we came up with a plan. Sunghoon will steal Sunoo away from Jay because he had things to talk to him about and I would talk with Jay while he's alone. Sunghoon and I were practically stalking the lobby area of the company waiting until we see Jay and Sunoo. Although we were only waiting for about an hour it felt like centuries. Finally Sunghoon stands up as he says "They're here." He then looks at me as he nods and walks up to them. I feel my body freeze as I see Jay. His sweet and gentle smile that he flashes at Sunoo. I know it's selfish but I want to be the only one that sees his smile. As Jay begins walking closer to me I feel nervous like suddenly my mouth feels numb and my legs are glued to the ground. I rip them off of the ground and start pacing back and forth. I can't. I should but I can't. I'm scared. I run into something. It was cold and smelled like hints of vanilla and sandalwood. It's warm and comforting. "Jungwon?" His voice sends shivers down my spine like ice being dragged against my bare skin. Despite his voice being warm and gentle it attacks me like a swarm of bees. Maybe if I stay still he'll eventually leave. "Wonie are you okay?" I hate my heart. Why is it racing? It's just a nickname. No. I'm not okay. I want to say but I don't. In fact, I say nothing. I hear him awkwardly shift from leg to leg as he gently asks "Do you want me to leave?" I'm not sure what took over me maybe it's was the fear of losing him but I grab onto his shirt as I say a quiet "No." He stiffens and stays in place as he says "Okay."

Jay POV:
"Jungwon?" I ask as I see him freeze once he makes contact with my chest. Despite it being completely silent between us I can almost hear the thoughts going through his brain. "Wonie are you okay?" I ask fighting the urge to gently grab his chin and lift it up so he looks away from the ground. He remains silent. I shift my weight from my right leg to my left leg. Maybe he hates me now. He wants nothing to do with me. "Do you want me to leave?" Of course he does Jay. Why would you even ask that? "No." He says just above a whisper but enough for me to hear as he grips my shirt. I stop in place as I quietly say "Okay." We must have been standing here for the last ten minutes although it felt...nice. I missed this. Being in Jungwon's presence. Feeling his warm body heat that melts my typically cold body. His sweet and clean scent. I missed this so much. I feel his hands grip onto my shirt tighter as I feel small drops of water land on my skirt. He was crying. I felt every muscle, heart string, intestines ache as I hear his small sobs. Forget distance. I'm sorry Jungwon I tried so hard to keep my distance but I can't anymore. I gently grab the back of his head as I push it into the crook of my neck. "Wonie what's wrong?" I ask trying to maintain calm as I gently pat his back and run my fingers through his hair.

Jungwon POV:
I hate this. Why does my body hate me? The feelings took over as the longer I stood there with Jay they kept building up. Until they came tumbling down like a game of Jenga. I grip onto his shirt trying to fight back my tears but they come out so quick I couldn't stop them from falling. I feel my skin heat up as he gently grabs the back of my head leaning it against the crook of his neck. In some odd way I feel comfortable. Relaxed even. Although the tears come out faster and harder. "Wonie what's wrong?" He asks me as he begins to gently pat my back and run his fingers through my hair. The tears slowly come to a stop being replaced with small hiccups. He's so patient with me. I feel so safe. I love him so much. "I'm scared." I quietly say in between the small hiccups. He continues to pat my back in a calming rythym. "Scared of what?" He asks me in a voice so gentle I felt I could melt. "That you'll hate me." I feel him freeze as he pulls me back and gently cups my face as he asks "Why would you ever think that?"

Jay POV:
"That you'll hate me." What? What?? Me hate Jungwon? Impossible. I don't think I would ever hate him. Even in every alternate universe I would still be in love with him. I would fall for him every time. "Why would you ever think that?" I ask as I cup his face praying my hands don't feel clammy because God I'm so nervous. He looks into my eyes with his big starry brown eyes as he says three words I never thought I would hear him say. "I like you." He begins to cry again this time the tears come out slowly and less harsh. Is it bad I want to jump and hug him in joy despite his tears? Perhaps. I tightly hug him as I can't help but chuckle as I feel him tense as he says "Why are you laughing?" I look at his eyes with his tear stained cheeks and small pout. Maybe I shouldn't do this but I lean down and kiss him. "I like you too."