His Soccer Girl

Three - Columbian War Chant

I knew I was screwed as soon as I woke up and remembered what happened at McDonalds yesterday.

And then I rolled over and groaned as I realised I forgot to treat my shoulder.

To be honest, I was too tired after we got home.

By the time my mom picked up Carly and I, we had tears running down our face from laughing so hard.

And then, after spending an hour at Carly's house playing soccer with her and Toni, her older brother, I came home and fell asleep.

Hence why I am still in a sweaty soccer uniform with a very swollen shoulder.

Throwing my uniform in the wash, I scrub all the grime off my body and try to rub some muscle soother on my shoulder. It's slightly purple now.

Stupid Tina.

Throwing my wet hair up into a bun type thingy, I throw on a soccer jersey and a pair of shorts.
Grabbing my sneakers, I run into the kitchen, doing my early morning dance.

I think I have reverse insomnia or something, because once I wake up, I'm good to go! I start singing to the radio, boogying around a little.

I decide that it is time to do what I believe is my ultimate duty.

"FELLOW FAMILY MEMBERS I CALL TO YOU TO WAKE UP AND JOIN ME IN ENJOYING THIS FANTASTIC DAY!"

From the bottom step I can hear a few groans and slowly, my ten year old brother's head came into view.

Wait a minute, I know that smirk...

Sh*t!

I make my Colombian war chant as I run down the hall with Ryan following in suit.

Wait a minute, I'm the older and stronger one here!

So with that, I stop and turn around, not expecting Ryan to fully ram into me.

We wrestle on the floor and I finally manage to get on top.

Victory!

"God!" Ryan grunts, trying to get me off him "You're so fat!"

"Nuh uh!" I say, pulling up my shirt and showing him my four mini abs which I happen to be very proud of "Look at these fine hunks of muscle!"

But my traitorous brother gets one of his fingers and stabs me in my fantabulous abs.

"I'VE BEEN SHOT!" I cry dramatically, rolling off him and into the foetal position.

I faintly hear a thump from upstairs and my mom shouting "I'M COMING BABY" only to see her sprint down the stairs and basically jump on top of me.
I groan in response.

"SHOULDER!" I shout

"Right," she notes "now where did you get shot?!"

I wince "Right..." I gasp in pain as I pull up my shirt and point to the red mark "here..."

My mom sobs and pulls my head into her chest.

"Find me a husband," I wheeze "and tell him I love him"

"No," she yells "don't leave me!"

"My God!" My dad sighs, taking a seat next to my brother on a stool near the counter "They are so weird"

Mom and I gasp simultaneously before standing up, dusting our clothes and pretending nothing ever happened.

"I might need therapy" I hear Ryan mutter as he walks up the stairs.

"HEY RY RY I'M TAKING YOU TO SCHOOL TODAY" I sing up the stairs while looking for the cereal.

*

"Here is your stop Ry Ry" I sing, smiling as his cheeks turn red.

"Shut up G-Dawg" he taunts as I shudder, remembering the rapper phase I went through, that I don't think I'll ever recover from.

I smirk and grab his cheeks, pulling his face close as I kiss his forehead and giving him a massive hug.

Ryan struggles and finally escapes my clutches before running away, waving to me with his back turned.

I giggle evilly as I hop on my merry way to school.

*

"Aww Babe!" Carly pouts, looking at my shoulder.

I shut my locker and shuffle my books around in my un-injured arm, still holding my apple in my mouth.

I'm freaking talented!

I nod slowly, pouting behind the apple as we walk to our lunch spot, the main sports field.

I plonk down next to Rachel and Toni as I steal a chip from Rachel's packet only to spit it back out again.

"Yuck!" I say, wiping my mouth "Non fat!"

"I don't understand how you eat like a pig but you're still skinny"

Toni laughs, but I gasp.

"I will have you know," I start, shoving a handful of his popcorn into my mouth "I value my health immensely"

Everyone mhmms and I humph, crossing my arms and pouting.

Most people would probably just roll their eyes and continue. But not me, my friend. Thanks to my mother I have a slight competitive streak in my personality, and by slight I mean it is a necessity to ground my opponents into ultimate annihilation!

I pick up a ball and throw it at Toni.

"I'm so gonna beat you at.." I look at the ball and frown "football"

Not to brag, but I can play most sports pretty well, but even I admit that I absolutely suck at football.

Everyone laughs, fuelling my anger and without second thought, I pull out one of those ball standy things and set it up. I stick the football on and point to the goal.

"If I get a goal, you must forever acknowledge my healthiness and buy me lunch for a month!" I shout, giving him my scariest glare, which did absolutely nothing.

Toni looked doubtful as he crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back against the bleachers.

I took that as a sign to continue.

So I kicked the ball...

And boy did I kick it hard!