Escape From Reality

The Window

The stars were especially beautiful tonight. I sat at my window seat, watching the twinkling balls of lights. So much has changed since I last went stargazing. So much.

Blinking my sore eyes, I wondered silently whether my mother was up there now, watching me. I wondered if she could somehow just send me a sign, or to just answer all my questions that were burning in my mind like a fire endlessly.

Just a few weeks ago, I would have never believed of the possibility of my mother being up there with the stars. But now after everything that happened, I have no idea what to believe in anymore.

Normally, my dad would be here to tuck me into bed. But he hasn't shown up since I had that outburst with him. I had ventured out of my room to take a shower eventually but I had not seen my dad anywhere during that little excursion. I had no idea where he was in the house, and honestly now I don't even know whether I want to even see him. Although I was embarrassed for lashing out at him like that, I did not really regret anything I said. I did really feel that way about him.

Sighing, I got up from the window seat before trudging over to my bed. I should go and sleep now. I lay in my bed, eyes boring up at the dark ceiling, tossing and turning but yet even after a couple of minutes, found myself unable to sleep.

My mind was racing, fully awake.

I can't sleep now. Not when there are so many things on my mind. Instead, I found my mind wandering, to the monsters in my dream, to Jacob, to my mother's journal.

I know I keep saying this, but- what was going on? I tossed in my bed and groaned.

As my mind wondered, I wondered about what Jacob was doing now. Had he had that conversation with his dad? Maybe he had found some answers.Was he lying in bed now too, thinking about the same things as I was? I really couldn't sleep. Sleep was literally going to be impossible. Not with so much on my mind.

I slowly pushed myself up in my bed, glancing over to my mother's diary sitting innocently there on the floor where I had dumped it. Shrug. I might as well finish reading it instead of wasting my time tossing and turning.

I picked it up from the floor before turning it to the page where I had last stopped, going back to where I left off. I scanned the words under the moon's soft glow, squinting before I made out the words.

Anthony said had a special surprise planned for me.He wouldn't dare breath a word about what it is.I'm curious as to what it is.I guess I will find out the next time I dream.

-Samatha

A smile tugged at the end of my lips. From what I've been reading so far, Anthony seemed like a really sweet guy, always looking out for my mother. She confided in him whenever her life got too stressful, such that she always felt better after a dream.

5 June 2018

I can't believe what just happened. I'm actually writing this in the middle of the day. I just had to write this down right now. I think I just went through one of the biggest shocks of my life.I honestly can't believe what I just saw ,I still think I'm dreaming of going crazy now to be honest.I saw Anthony,a manifestation of my dream,standing there at the supermarket,in flesh and bone.

In the flesh and bone?I read over that line again,hardly daring to believe that it was true. It looks like my suspicions were right.Anthony was a real person,just like Jacob.My mother had the same dreams as me. Excitement tugging inside me at the possibility of some answers, I hungrily read over the next few lines.

He was with another woman,buying groceries when I noticed him standing by the milk aisle.I kid you not,my eyes stretched wider than I thought was humanly possible.He dropped the milk carton on the floor,where it dropped with a thud while I very nearly dropped my own basket to the ground when he noticed my eyes on him.We must have stared at each other for a good while before his wife tugged urgently at his arm.I didn't want to make a scene so I quickly left.They looked like they were on holiday here,with their beach shorts and tops.I don't know what to make of it.I mean,Anthony can't be real,he is just a person in my dream.But still he stood there in the supermarket,and he looked like he recognised me.I really don't know what to think anymore.I'm going to sign off now,I need time to think over this.