WARHAVEN

Fifty-Six

I felt so trapped here. I ran as far as I could, a few miles away, reaching the wall that kept all of the magic and beauty inside to itself. A selfish act.

I had no idea how to process what Nargue had revealed. I also didn't know how to process the situation with August.

I felt like I could cry, so I did. I sobbed at the wall for hours, never choosing to climb it.

I loved Augustus. I knew that. I didn't want to make any rash, emotional decisions. Although my emotions deserved to be considered. It was too painful. Not knowing all of this, everyone lying to me for months. The fact that they had all of these memories and I was part of them, but couldn't remember, was devastating. It was heartbreaking.

According to Nargue, I had made the decision to have my memory erased all those years ago, but I wasn't the same woman I was before. I didn't carry the same life experience. And I no longer liked the way my life was going.

I wanted to leave for a while, start over. Get a break.
With the love I had for Augustus, I knew no one amount of time apart could change my feelings for him.

I would tell him I was leaving. First thing in the morning. I would travel back to the orphanage and collect my earnings, live on my own for a while, then come back and try again, for a third time apparently. I didn't want to run, but I needed a break.

So much had happened in the following months, I needed to think, to reset. This felt so selfish but also necessary.

Everything with the ball, Roman being an ass, and causing that fight between Augustus and I. Us making love and fighting after.

I had a mother. I had a father. I came from somewhere.

The realization was heartbreaking and exciting.

I never once thought I would find out anything about them. Let alone learn that they were not human. I understood that I had never been human, but to my knowledge, I had. Even if I had made this decision, I didn't feel like my own. It felt like a stranger made it on my behalf.

The worst part was, I didn't even have anyone to blame. It was literally my own fault.

I kicked stones as I walked, my arms tightly crossed in the bright moonlight. I let myself ground, going over every little thing that happened that day. I hadn't even realized how bad things had become with August. It was important that he appear strong, for the good of WarHaven. And I had single handedly undermined and humiliated him. It was a bad, bad look to have us not being a united front.

I cared, but I also didn't. This was a massive lie. A massive part of myself that August had kept from me. I felt very conflicted.

I needed to hear more. I had acted impulsively and needed to apologize. But not before him.

——

I stayed away for several hours, mulling over what I have learned, as well as what I wanted to ask August. He tried to reach out in my mind, but I pushed him away. I took the long way back to the castle, I chose not to use my vampire abilities as I wanted more time to cool off.

I was exhausted. I just wanted to sleep, even if it was simply to escape my own reality.

The thriving, selfish trees thickened around me. The trail went from dirt and few pebbles to a full Pebblestone path.

An eerie smoke obscured my view, and I hugged myself tighter. I felt a presence, so I hurried my footsteps, doing my best to listen for danger under the loud noise of my feet against the gravel.

I turned a bend and the large castle came into view. The stone was illuminated by the moon, causing it too look a sickly gray.

I crossed the large open courtyard and made it back to the castle. Thanks to my vampire speed. I quickly made my way up the stairs.

I made my way down the hall to Augustus' master suite, stopping outside his door, hesitating.

I ultimately decided to return to my old room for the night. I wasn't ready to face him and wanted to sleep on what I would say. The last thing we needed right now was another fight.

I quickly shuffled my feet the long way to my old suite, noting the lack of guards, maybe it was a shift change.

I pushed the door open, turning around and shutting it. The room smelled different, thick, mahogany scent. I wondered if it was due to being recently cleaned.

I made my way to the massive bed, sleep threatening to claim me. I stripped on my way to the thick mattress, leaving a trail of garments in my wake. I left my undershirt on, as well as my cotton panties. I stretched and pulled back to the comforter, preparing to climb into the cool, fresh sheets.

"You know, when I made that hilarious comment about you seducing me, I never thought it would actually happen."

I jumped where I was, pulling the comforter to my chest, covering my exposed skin. My eyes went wide, and my heart kicked up in shock and humiliation.

There at the bathroom door stood Roman. Wet and nearly naked. A thick towels hung  loosely around his muscular hips. The fire crackled in the warm glow glistened on his pale skin.

"Oh my gosh." I tried to calm myself down as he chuckled, making his way to the bed and dropping his towel as I rushed to cover my innocent eyes.

"Stop!" Another low, sensual chuckle. I felt him climbing into the bed. I wanted to run, tell him it was inappropriate, but I didn't feel in danger.

"What? You're the one who stripped herself for a second time in my presence." A suggestive smirk made its way onto his handsome face and he followed it with a wink.

He stretched out in the bed, his hands behind his head. This left his naked chest on display and he looked mouthwatering.

"Obviously, they were both an accident, you prick!" I was so frustrated. "You need to leave."

He looked at me, cocking a brow as he pulled a cigar out of nowhere, and lit it on a nearby candle.

He took a long drag and released a dense cloud into the clean air. I was frozen in my spot and couldn't believe the audacity of him. What was he even doing in my suite?

"Hello? Get out." I gestured for the door. He threw his head back in laughter. Diabolical laughter. He was mocking me. The sick bastard.