Seventeen BoyxBoy smut(Unedited)

Joshua x Ot12 {Stress} Pt.1

{Ship: Joshua x Ot12/ Fluff/ Tops: Seventeen }

This chapter will mention suicidal thoughts and cutting if anyone is easily triggered by stuff like that. Don't read this chapter if you don't like it. Thank you
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Hong Jisoo or Joshua Hong was the 3rd oldest member in Seventeen and being one of the oldest came with lost of responsibilities

Joshua would often take on many of these responsibilities due to how tire and stressed Seungcheol was and how Jeonghan was very laid back and a bit lazy but no one minded that

Joshua would help them with English, and sometimes with their parts, that's easy stuff

Recently he's become Seventeens therapist, don't get me wrong, Joshua enjoys helping his members out

But it doesn't give him the time to think about his own issues that he's going through.

All of Seventeen were dating each other it's actually been a few years that they all realized they liked each other romantically but it's been 1 year since they made anything official

The other members have come out to their families about their sexuality but Joshua hasn't

No one knows that though. You see Joshua is a Christian and when growing up he was taught these things were bad.

Things like, having feeling towards the same sex, have sex with the same sex, and having sex before marriage

Joshua has done all 3 of these things and has no idea how to tell his parents, Joshua has started a conversation giving hints but it always ended badly

3 weeks ago

Joshua was on the phone with his mom and he asked a question "So mom say that you had another kid right, and that kid was a really good person, did everything correctly and everything, but say that kid idk, liked the same sex"

"What do you mean Joshua?" She asked "I mean like, if they dated the same sex"

"Same sex as in boy and boy dating and girl and girl?" "Umm yea I think so, what would you do?" He asked hopeful of her answer

"Um well I don't like that and I wouldn't support it, that's not how I raised them, I'd feel as if I failed as a parent"

Joshua's heart shattered "Oh okay, thanks" Joshua hung the phone up and he laid in his bed

Was it really that bad to be different and to like and lobe who you want? Is it really that bad of a sin? Would God not love him if he chose to be happy with a man rather than with a women?

Joshua had many questions that no one could answer and that hurt him alot. He loved his members but he loved his mother and the thought of her not supporting him hurt him alot

Present

Joshua has been avoiding any type of sexual contact with his boyfriends including kissing and holding hands

He thought if he did this, he'd lose feelings and realize he actually liked women

His members caught on to this and Dk asked during practice

"Hyung why have you been avoiding us?" "Omg Seokmin" some of the memebrs let out "I wanna know it's been a few weeks and you sleep alone, you won't let us hold or love on you,  and you only speak to us when we have issues"

Joshua looked at Dk "It's Nothing Dk, I just idk I didn't realize I was doing that"

"Okay but Shua when we get home you go right into your room, why is that?" Seungcheol asked