➳ so sweet and so cold // hyunlix

chapter 18

Hyunjin was laying engulfed in numbness in the bathtub. He was letting the hot water caress his body and offer him the warmth he craved dearly. Soft droplets cascaded down his face as his wet eyelashes glued together.

His throat ached. His eyes were sore. His heart felt like it was stabbed numerous times and clawed out of his chest. Hyunjin didn't have any more tears. Hyunjin didn't have any more energy. He was exhausted.

He remained in the bathroom of the room Minho always provided for him whenever he was at the Italian mansion. He locked the door and only wanted to succumb to the pain and go to sleep forever.

Jisung knocked a few times on the door but he never answered. He doesn't want to talk to anyone. He can't.

    He's all alone once again.

    There's no one he can give his entire heart to and trust. Minho probably hates him. Jisung too. Felix didn't even like him to begin with. What's next?

    Another loud sob escaped from between his full lips, before he felt his body give in to the water and dive deeper in the bathtub, his back sliding down the surface.

   "Hyunjin? Hyunjin please, say something. I need to know you're okay." Jisung shouted from the other side of the door.

   No, you don't. You hate me. You should.

    Those words were muffled by the water covering his ears. Soon his entire face was underwater, his eyelashes wetting more and oxygen failing to enter his lungs. He wants to sleep for a while. He's exhausted.

   It was quiet down there. The only thing he could hear was the mere sound of his heartbeat slowing with each passing second. It was vacant, quiet, dreadful. But Hyunjin came to terms with what happened. He was numb now.

    He stayed like that for a while. Until he felt his mind slip into unconsciousness. More memories with Felix started flashing before his eyes. Then with Jisung. Then with Minho. It was all passing so fast in front of him.

    His entire body relaxed as his heart did slowly.

   But it didn't last long.

   Not when he felt a pair of hands grab at his head and torso and pull him up to the surface. Not when he heard the desperate cry of Jisung, constantly asking him questions in a trembling voice. Not when he felt hands grabbing his face and trying to open his eyes. Not when he felt a chest glue to the side of his face and pull him tight into a hug.

   Hyunjin's eyebrows scrunched in confusion as his consciousness began to reappear. "Hannie?" He choked on the water escaping his lungs through his mouth. It wasn't much, but it was definitely a bother. "W-why?"

    "Hyunjin, why would you do this? You could've destroyed me..." Han's voice broke as his words stumbled upon one another. He turned to stare Hyunjin in the eye, his own being wet by the tears adorning his waterline.

    Hyunjin shook his head in disbelief. "That's not true. You hate me." He murmured numbly, his voice emotionless.

    Han stopped his agitation, his mouth hanging wide open and his eyes round with worry. "W-what? Hate... you?" He felt a scoff escape his throat as he sniffed harder, trying to keep the tears at bay. "Why would you think that?"

   Before Hyunjin could reply, Minho arrived alarmed in the room. "What's going on? Are you two okay?" His voice was filled with worry as he asked.