summary: he's an idiot, and you can't help but worry for him.
warnings: cursing, petty y/n (sorry in advance)
pairing: fem!reader x jake peralta (enemies but lovers)
word count: 2.5k+ words
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"no, because you're an idiot!"
"i had him!" jake argues back. look at him, thinking he's all smart and crap.
"you quite literally did not," you throw your hands up, exasperated, "he would've blown off your head!"
"he wouldn't have! i would've talked him down!"
"oh, yeah, because you're just so charming," your voice oozes with sarcasm.
"i'll have you know that i am, in fact, quite charming."
"i don't want to even know what you're definition of charming is."
"it's-"
"i said i don't want to know. and that's not even the point. how did we get here?"
"because you claimed-"
"it was rhetorical! the point is that you were being stupid and reckless!"
"what about you? is there, like, no trust in this relationship? fine, i might've been a little... but- but it doesn't matter! i could've got him! he wouldn't have shot me."
"yes, he-"
"nuh-uh!"
"yeah!"
"nu-"
"look, peralta. for once in your life, think with your head, not your junk."
he paused, squinting an eye, "uh, spontaneousness is... hot?"
"having my partner bleeding out on the ground, and i hate to break it to you, is not hot."
"subjective."
"it's really not."
"that's also subjective."
"what's also subjective?"
"your opinion on the subjectiveness is subjective, 'kay?"
you pinch the bridge of your nose. "jacob-"
"'jacob'?" he whines. "that's never good."
"-it's not even about your stupid, rash decisions. i'm your partner for this case. you can't just- just go off without me. we work together, you know that. storming into an active crime scene - mind you, with armed shooters-"
"well, if they're shooter, aren't they already armed?"
you give him a look (the millionth one that day). "jake, i am not kidding. and honestly, you shouldn't be either. this whole," you vaugely gesture to him, "childish personality was cute at first, but i'm getting real damn sick of it. grow. up. everyone already has. it's your turn," you jab him in the chest with your finger, jaw clenched.
