NONE OF THESE ARE MINE!!!!
I got arrested for walking out of the museum with a painting. I was just so confused, because earlier when I asked security if I could take a picture, they said yes?
What's blue and smells like red paint?
Blue paint.
What do you call a man pouring water into a jug?
Phil.
Why don't dinosaurs make good pets?
Cause they're dead.
I started telling everybody about the advantages of eating dry grapes
It's about raising awareness
A horse walks into a bar.
Bartender says "Hey"
The horse says "yes please."
I wanted to start a new diet
I feel like i have way too much on my plate right now
I sweater I purchased was picking up static electricity
So I decided to return it
He gave me another one free of charge
