I love you but I can't

Chapter 5

I'm at the gala, sitting with my mother when I notice Aaron, walk in but that's not all I notice Julia......... J U L I A......... JULIA.........................
He's dead dead dead I immediately get up and walk over

" who the hell do you think you are?" I ask, looking him up and down. Then I notice not only did he bring her, but her arm looped in his OH WOW " may I speak to you privately, Aaron" I said, with the sickly, sweet smile

" not right now but if you would excuse me I have some private business to attend to" he says, sidestepping me

Then I see elando and walk over to him
" hello it's so nice to see you" I say beaming at him " hello Mia, how are you?" he says, with a grimace. " oh me I'm doing great. How about you?" he just kind of side eyes me.

" I'm great now excuse me you have a great" is all he says, and walks off he walks off I feel my stomach turn he may have never loved me, but I will forever love him.

– Flashback to when elando and Mia broke up –

" hey baby, how was your day?" I say from the bed, but he doesn't look at me doesn't smile at me like he usually does. " what's wrong" I question nothing

Seems like forever when I finally hear him he takes a deep breath " I think we should break up." that's it that's all he has to say after that statement.

" what" I say, my voice breaking " What do you mean what it what" I'm stumbling over my words
" we're not a good match and... and... and... I'm in love with Celia" it's like my world crashes

Tears are running down my face " oh, OK" I stand up, grab my bag and leave I cried in the rain for hours upon hours

I return to see him sitting there fine he looks fine
" did you really love me and when I said love I don't mean sex. I mean love." I say, my voice rancid.

" I love no one and no one loves me so don't ever think you're an exception" is all he before getting up and leaving
-present-

My eyes start to prick with tears, so I look for nearest hallway and quickly rush down it, but I hear somebody following me

I got to hit them with my bag

only to see Aaron " what what could you possibly want her? Cause  you have her you have love I will never have that. I will never ever have that, so what where did you come to rub it in my face more are you that shallow because you're reaching down real low honestly , so please do what the agreement says or so help me God I will kill her in front of you before you ever and I mean with my deepest dearest soul ever humiliate me get out of my face"

I storm off but he still following me? " WHAT? WHAT DO YOU WANT?" I look up at him.
" my dad won't allow me to marry Julia because of you she's pregnant with a child a child I wanna be able to love publicly not privately do you not understand that do you not know that that is way more important then whatever you got going on" he says confidently like he is proud of himself

" you know what I got going I grew up with a abusive father. Yeah, maybe he wasn't beating me to death but beating counts I may never be able to have children in My own I may never find love all I've ever wanted and I can't have any of it you should be happier your getting a slice of loving someone I can't back out of the deal so what do you want me to do? What do you want me" my voice breaks at the end at this point I'm crying and somehow I got on the floor

Now I am not even crying. I am sobbing on the floor. " I just want to be loved and cherished but I will never have that. Do you know what that feels like" I say, looking at him through blurry eyes

He's got a pained expression on his face
He keeps repeating the same thing " I'm sorry" he slowly helps me off the floor we're so close I can feel his heartbeat " I'm sorry I really am" is what he says. I look up into his eyes there's such a beautiful shade of brown like a warm cup of coffee on a cool winter evening just as I get done looking into his eyes, I see Julia

" I can't I won't I won't do it you need to get her out or I'll have somebody else do it" I said getting up and straightening my dress and walking off

" what what do you love her now? Just because you can't marry me doesn't mean you have to go find the first thing to kiss or what other things do you love her now or something?" it's like she doesn't even know what he feels for her.

I turn around and look at her " Julia, you have someone who loves you cherish that"
Is all I say, as I walk to the bathroom to clean myself up?

The other woman that's the part I play in everyone else's love story. When will I get my turn?

– Later –
Me and Mira are cleaning up the gala when I see Aaron come in he's in his all black tuxedo still

" what are you still doing here?" I ask him.
" waiting for you to finish up you need a ride, right?" he says while sitting down.
" yeah, I guess I do" I say, looking back to Mira

" hey you go ahead and go I can finish up here" Mira says looking around the gala venue,
" are you sure?" I say raising my eyebrow.
" of course" she says, with a smile

" OK love you" I say grabbing my jacket and bag Aaron slowly stand up
" you ready" he says and we start to walk out I was paying attention to my phone getting ready to post when I feel something warm come around me and I look down at my arms confused realizing it's his tuxedo jacket

" it's cold out there" is all he says as we walk out
" oh, so I parked little bit far away. Hope you don't mind." I just nod my head. " not at all."

I start to limp down the path. My feet hurting so bad try to push through but to be honest, these were limited edition Louboutin's. They might just be a little smaller than they should be

" hand me your shoes" he says, looking at me with a smirk " these are limited edition, I can push through it" I say looking at him with a smirk as well" well we don't want your precious precious feet getting hurt or worse...... blisters" he whispers blisters like it's a dirty secret

I bust out laughing "no we don't do we" I say frowning playfully " I mean, if you insist" I say with a Sigh " but I don't want my feet to touch, the dirty Ground" I say in a whiny tone

" well, we can't have that I have the perfect solution" all of a sudden I'm off the ground " wow you didn't even buy me dinner first what a douche" we both start laughing

" thank you" I whisper into the shoulder as I lay my head back " anytime anytime except for when I'm eating that's a big no-no" I laugh at his use of the word no no like I'm a toddler

I sigh feeling myself get tired I think I went to sleep before we even got to the car