The 10th Member

I Realized

Sana's POV

"You really like Y/n that much, huh? I didn't realize."  My God, these words just don't stop ringing in my head! Ever since that day, I've realized I become irascible whenever I see Y/n getting too close with someone else, and I don't even know why.

It's kind of like... I want her all to myself, but that's weird, right? 

I shook my head rapidly and splashed water on my face, staring deeply into the reflection of my eyes as the water dripped down.

I've been thinking about her so often it's getting annoying, she just doesn't leave my head. I need to keep myself occupied so I can relax for a moment before my head starts playing a compilation video of her smiling like the angel she is. And what better way to do that than to watch something. 

I headed to the living room and sat down on the couch. The maknae line was sitting at a table nearby and playing Uno.

"I win." Chaeyoung said smugly as she placed down her last card. Dahyun was astonished at this.

"What? This is the third time!" 

"You're rigging the cards, aren't you?" Tzuyu's question caught her off-guard and her reaction proved it. She stuck out her tongue playfully, surrendering to the imputation.

"I'm gonna kill you, you midget!" And then the three started chasing each other throughout the house. Though they are adults now, they're still kids at heart. I giggled softly and then switched on Netflix, going through the variety of movies and shows they have.

They all seemed ordinary and boring until my eyes stumbled across a cute BL anime named "Sasaki and Miyano". I like watching anime occasionally but I don't get time anymore these days. The episodes are usually only 20 minutes so nothing wrong in giving it a try. 

Safe to say I got hooked and started binging it. It's such a comforting and uplifting watch, and the storytelling is genuine and heartfelt, tugging at your heartstrings. Slice of life animes are always like this, so pleasant to watch, because you can resonate with the characters. But I felt myself resonating to one character in particular too much...

"I like you, Miyano." A small red hue painted my cheeks when I heard that, the slow burn drives you crazy and it really took him 5 episodes to confess. I imagined myself in Miyano's position because I related to him more, but who would my Sasaki be? Who'd confess to me? Who would I want to confess to me?

Only one person came to mind, and she's the last person I should be thinking of right now.

I don't even like her, do I? So why does she keep on coming to my mind? Why do I keep imagining her and myself in place of the two characters that are in love? It's so frustrating. Imagine watching a show to distract yourself from the thoughts of someone but everything reminds you of them.

The more I'd watch, the more I'd think of her, but it was too late now. I'd only stop watching when the characters got together. 

"What do you think it means to like someone?"  Miyano, who was confused about his feelings, asked his senior.

"I think that depends on each person. Maybe like wanting to do something? Wanting to be together, wanting to hold their hands, wanting to touch them, wanting to kiss them, wanting to hold them, wanting them all to yourself."

All to yourself?

I gulped in fear as I realized I feel a very similar set of emotions around a particular someone. But it can't be, right? No, this just has to be infatuation, or maybe it's just platonic love! Yeah, that's all. It's just platonic.