It was saturday, almost a week had passed since they closed the morgue, we were eating in the dining room, I was trying to act calm but the madness consumed me, Sally was talking and i was barely trying to listen to her, at this point i only cared about being able to continue pretending without explode against her.
I felt tired in a horrible way, i wasnt sleepy, but i wanted to go to sleep now so i could escape from everything, but i cant escape from this...
I couldt take it anymore, i hit her on the head with a bottle, the wine and blood mixed randomly, i went to look for something to clean. I kill she n after i eat his body, if someone found out this could say that I always hated her, but it wouldnt be true, I was never the type of man who hates his wife.
When I lay down in bed everything good was gone, maybe it calmed my hunger but now the guilt was killing me, how could i do something like that? to my own wife? I loved her, i ruined everything.
I couldnt sleep, i fell into depression as fast as his blood and dead body had fallen on the table.
I spent the whole night crying, lamenting, suffering, this wouldnt calm me down or fix anything but i couldnt help it.
The next morning i woke up on the couch with some bottles of alcohol around me, i had drunk at least 5 six packs and about two vodkas.
Nothing mattered, nothing was important enough.
I lost my wife and my job and i cant blame anyone, its my fault, i alone ruined everything, i ruined myself.
I dedicated my afternoon to drinking, crying and watching the video of my wedding with Sally, she was so beautiful, i was so fine, she will always be beautiful, she always was, i was just fine for a few years and i will never be fine again to be it.
"You fucked all, Dexter" i say to myself every minute, the voice in my head sound like my dad angry voice when say that.
I went from pain to depression to anger to pain again.
When my mother was about to die I could hear her asking God to take care of me, for me to be a good man, for me to be happy... Father, into hands i commed my spirit, father intohands, why hav u forsaken me? In ur eyes you forsaken me, in ur thoughts forsaken me, in ur heart forsaken me
Oh father why u leave me? Oh father u deceived me
Maybe i like to suffer... Its all done, its all lost.
i think it's time that i shoul leave?
i think it's time that i shoul leave?
i think it's time that i shoul leave?
i think it's time that i shoul leave?
i think it's time that i shoul leave?
Can my mind stop to think?!
