scoups; him as your blind best friend

Chapter 4

„What did you say?"
He sighed. „Forget it please. That was the Alcohol."
„You just said, you haven't drunk that much."
He sighed again. „Forget it, y/n."
You were about to say something but got cut off by Seungkwan, who hugged you from behind.
„Y/n, let's sing together!"
You were the one sighting this time. „I am having a conversation now."
„C'mon!"
Seungkwan pulled you up, handing you a microfone. You looked at Seungcheol, who was already in a conversation with Joshua. Seungkwan turned on „Someone like you" from Adele. You automatallicly tear up.

The two of you began to sing. With every second fading away, the sadness overcame you more and more. You were pretty sure you heard it right what Seungcheol just said to you. You're not mine to call yet. Does he feel the same about you, like you feel about him? Or was it really just the alcohol? After the song was done,you heard Seungcheol and Joshua clapping.
„Y/n your voice is so good!" Joshua said smiling.

You smiled back at him. "Thank you."
"So now Seungcheol and you one last time. Then let's wrap it up, I'm done for today."
You looked at Seungcheol. You didn't want so sing with him, not after what he just said to you.
"Let's just go home. I'm tired too." You said.
"Oh c'mon, your voices fit each other so well." Joshua complaint.
You sighed. "Let's just go home. I'm tired too." Seungcheol said.
The boys sighed. "Okay, fine."

You cleaned everything up as good as possible, before grabbing your belongings and leaving the bar. The cold air catches your skin when you got out. You shivered. Your drunk self was kinda happy about it, but you were still cold.
"It got pretty cold." You said.
The boys nodded.
"See you tomorrow, or today, guys. We gonna look the best, I'm pretty sure." Seungkwan said.
"See you!" You said, waving him when he left.
"Are you going, or is your mom picking you up?" Joshua asked you.
"Oh right. No, I'm calling her now."
"Okay, can I go or should I wait with you two?"
"You can go." Seungcheol said.
Joshua nodded. "Okay. See you tomorrow!"
"Take care!"

Joshua left. You got out your phone, tiping in your moms number.
"Let's go by foot."
"Are you crazy? It's cold and quite far away."
"But it's good for our conditions. We won't be hangovered tomorrow. We can call your mom after some time walking."
You sighed. "Okay."
You put your phone away. "But it's-"
Before you could finish your sentence, Seungcheol already put his denim Jacket over your shoulders.
"Wear this." He looked into your direction.
You turned red. "What about you?"
"I'm okay."
You nodded. "Okay. This way."
You wrapped your hand around his wrist, leading the way. After walking for a bit, you noticed Seungcheol getting closer to you, step by step. You hestitated. You wanted to take his hand, walking hand in hand. The thought was only giving because of the alcohol you had into. You would never do this when being sober.
"Can we talk about what you said earlier?"
Seungcheol sighed. "Y/n please just forget it."

You stood still, making him turn around confused.
"Why are you avoiding it? You said it."
"Yeah because I had some drinks."
"Seungcheol you're never too drunk to say something irrelevant."
You could see in his face, that he was trying to look at you. Really look at you. But his eyes couldn't find you. He would never find you.
"Have you had feelings for someone you know you wouldn't stand a chance with?"
You swallowed. "Yeah.."
He hesitated. "I like Min Jae from the other class."

Your heart dropped to the equator.
"W-what?"
He nodded. "Yeah, I like her. But since I'm blind, I don't stand a chance."
"How do you even know her?"
"I gave her piano lessons last summer."
You didn't knew that. And you always knew what happens in his life. That's what best friends were made for.
"You didn't tell me."
"I did now."
"And what you said earlier..."
"I just imagined you were her. I got confused for a second. I'm sorry."
You tear up. This was the last thing you expected to happen. But what else did you expect? Your best friend confession to you? Telling you he loves you? You're his best friend and nothing would ever change that.
"Do you think about telling her?" You asked, trying to sound normal. But your voice cracked.
His face dropped, he looks concerned. "Are you crying?"
You tried to laugh it off. "What? No. I'm happy for you that you like someone!"

He smiled slightly. "I won't tell her. And please don't tell anyone too, okay?"
"Why won't you?"
He shrugged his shoulders, hesitate to say at first. "I don't think someone could love me."
Your heart shattered in pieces.
"Why would you think that?" You started to cry.
Hearing your best friend say, that he thinks he's not lovable, breaks your heart. He is the kindest person you know, a good listener, a good friend, someone so graceful and full of joy, even though life took something from him. You wished he would know, how much lovable he is. How much you love him to stop him from thinking like that.
"Y/n..." He reached out for you, but you make a step back.
"Tell me why you think that." You sobbed.
He sighed, looking at the ground. "You think I could tell someone, that they look pretty? beautiful? breathtaking? I can't. You think I can help them in daily tasks? Maybe some, yeah. But I'm still handicapped. Imagine starting my own family. What if my kids are born blind too? I don't want them to live this life. And even if they aren't, I can't tell them how pretty they are. I don't know what they look like. Y/n, I don't fucking know what my kids would look like. How could someone spend their life with me, when I'm just a burden to them, and the people around us?"

Tears were rolling down your face. You were crying hard.
"Y-you really think it's important to tell someone, how they look?"
He nodded. "I do yeah."
"Why?"
He looked up. "Don't you think I hear how happy you are, when Joshua or Seungkwan tell you how pretty you look? When we tried on the outfits for the party, Jesus y/n, I was so mad at myself for not being able to say how pretty you look. I just couldn't. But you were so happy in that moment. Everyone deserves to be told how beautiful they are. And I just can't give them that."
"Beauty comes not with the looks." You whispered under your tears.
"Y/n, please don't cry." He reached out for you again. This time, he reached you, and pulled you into a hug.
"Do you even know what a beautiful person you are, Seungcheol? You are the most beautiful person I've ever met. You don't judge anyone by anything. And even if you could see, I know, you won't judge anyone by their looks. You're just always open to them and try to involve them. I was so happy when we both became friends back then, because I loved your playful side of you, even though life treated you badly. I really hope you would know how much you mean to me. I really hope you would stop thinking like that. You are lovable. People do love you. We, your friends love you."

You cried onto his shoulder. He hugged you tight. You stood like that for about 5 minutes. Not moving, just hugging and crying. He patted your back, whispering, telling you to stop crying. But you couldn't. You don't think you ever could after he told you these things.
"I'm so thankful to have you in my life, y/n." He whispered.
You nodded. "I'm thankful to have you in my life too."
"You are my best friend, y/n. I love you. I hope you know that."
This was it, your last straw before loosing it all.
"I love you too, Seungcheol. More than you could imagine." You murmured into his shoulder, hoping, he wouldn't understand.