Dancing With The Duke

Chapter 34

The next morning found Alex in a very deplorable mood. He had drunk himself into oblivion until finally slumber had taken over. It dawned upon him that he had somehow gotten into the habit of drinking himself to sleep, which was something he was not liking at all. He had to do something about it.

As he was partaking of a cold breakfast, Baldrick handed him a letter. From Humboldt, his man of business. It said the business matters had not yet been concluded and that it would take another week to settle everything. The letter did not improve his already sour disposition. He had already prepared himself to leave London and return to Daven Hall, his country estate. But it seemed now he had to postpone his plans.

But this was a comparatively less significant of a problem than what he had to deal with. The Grenville bash that evening. He had informed Eleanor earlier that he would be attending the party. But that was before he decided to end this faux coalition. Now, that he had informed Eleanor in no uncertain terms — although she seemed not to consider it, he believed she would come around once he’d left London — he could not attend the soiree. It would be devastating as hell or maybe even worse than that.

If he attended the party he would have to dance with Eleanor, something that would encourage her but drive him insane. And if he didn't, he would give everyone the chance to confirm his reputation. And then everyone would believe that he was repeating what had happened three years ago.

Although he did not care for his reputation, he did care for Eleanor's. He wouldn't be able to live with himself if Eleanor's reputation was tarnished because of him.

He briefly considered attending the ball, paying his respects to the hosts and returning immediately. But that would present yet another problem. It would not be possible to meet the hosts without being seen. And once he was seen, there would still be speculation if he left early. All leading to Eleanor.

So the best course of action was to refrain from attending the ball tonight. He would have to send his regrets later.

"Baldrick, send my regrets to Lord and Lady Grenville."

Baldrick blinked for a moment.

"But I believe Your Grace had planned to attend the ball this evening. I have made all the arrangements, Your Grace."

Alex pushed aside the irritation of the way Your Grace sounded, and concentrated on Baldrick.

"Yes, that was the plan earlier. However, I have changed my mind now."

"May I be so bold as to inquire after the reason for His Grace's change of mind,"

"You may not!" Alex bit out.

"Apologies, Your Grace," Baldrick looked contrite. "I beg forgiveness, Your Grace, I overstepped." He stood there with his head bowed down.

Alex felt a pang of guilt. Baldrick had known and served him for a long time. He trusted Baldrick, he shouldn't have bit out the way he did.

"There is no reason for me to attend the ball. Also, I have a few matters to attend to," Alex said, now in a much sober voice.

"Mayhap, Your Grace might find the reason present at the soirée," Baldrick attempted a feeble smile.

Alex could feel the questioning eyes boring into him. Although Baldrick would never be so bold as to ask directly, he could read his Butler very well.

But Alex couldn't tell him something that he didn't understand himself. He couldn't say that he wanted to steer clear of Eleanor, yet want her in a way he had never wanted anything else in life. He wanted to keep her out of his mind, yet he spent sleepless nights dreaming about her.

Alex smiled at him. "It is not right. As you well know, I'm here only for business matters. Once those are concluded, I'll return to Daven Hall."

"Forgive me for being bold Your Grace," Baldrick smiled, "but I don't see why that should be a deterrent to attend the ball."

Alex knew he was being led into a trap. And the worse part was that some part of him wanted to get trapped. He was definitely losing his sanity.

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