QUERENCIA || prose/poetry

𝐈 𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐆𝐈𝐕𝐄!

“I FORGIVE.”

There! I say it now,
hear me well!
There, I throw it out,
make sure you catch it.

Hear my words,
I won't let you win,
I have run out of hatred,
hear how I rescued me.

I cried due to your misdeeds
every night and I burned
because of your greed,
my prayers unanswered
as I begged for relief—
I realized it later,
it was because this guilt
was not mine to carry.

I have allowed you
to weigh me down, enough!
This decade-old rusted
chains of incomparable sorrow;
from when you had my lungs
tied with my veins,
without remorse.
But I was not responsible
for your dagger nails and
venomous touch.
This sin was yours, and God!
oh God, I was not at fault.

How I wished to unhear
your tricks and undo this hurt,
oh, how I had to punish myself
for when you made me wish
death on an innocent.

"DEAD LOVERS LIVE IN POETRY!"
I had once written,
I would like to clarify
that so do the sinners
and their selfish treachery.
My works will stand witness
and so will my hurting,
on the day of our resurrection
I will watch my words speak
of all that you took and
of all that you seared in me.
As let this ache go, I say
to your actions, "I forgive."

My Lord is great
I trust His will and
when he takes my name
I shall watch you flinch,
my poetry holds the pain
of what your betrayal did;
every word that I write will
recall the tears on my cheeks,
of the nights I threw up and
the nightmares I still live,
I still tense at your mention
but you shall quiver from within
when He calls out my name,
I will simply recite how I grieved.

I forgive, I forgive,
I homed my ache in my poetry,
I forgive, I forgive,
I won't let you ruin my healing,
I forgive, I forgive,
when your sins are listed—
I shall watch my words speak.
I forgive, I forgive,
when my Lord calls my name

I shall rise as your greatest sin.