The Shadow Summoner | Book Three - PJO Universe

nine

NOT GOOD SOUP

"These are not the sacrifices," Nico said, allowing Ariana to breathe again. "But I have brought you a better offering! I see you, O great Screech -Bling!"

Nico did not say screech, mind you. He screeched in a way that told Ariana he'd been practising Troglodytish. He had a lovely, ear-piercing accent.

The trogs leaned in, sniffing and waiting, while Nico held out his hand to Will, like gimme.
Will reached into his bag.

He pulled out the desiccated lizard and handed it to Nico, who unwrapped it like a holy relic and held it aloft.

The crowd let out a collective gasp. "Oooh!"

Screech-Bling's nostrils quivered. Ariana thought his tricorn hat might pop off his head from excitement. "Is that a - GRR - five-lined skink - CLICK?"

"It is - GRR," Nico said. "This was difficult to find, O Screech -Bling, Wearer of the Finest Hats."

Ariana couldn't believe she was hearing her brother growl. It was terrifying her, so much she debated putting him in a kennel afterwards.

Screech-Bling licked his lips. He was drooling all over his cravat. "A rare gift indeed. We often find Italian wall lizards in our domain. Turtles. Wood frogs. Rat snakes. Occasionally, if we are very lucky, a pit viper."

"Tasty!" shrieked a trog in the back. "Tasty pit vipers!"

Several other trogs screeched and growled in agreement.

"But a five-lined skink," Screech-Bling said, "is a delicacy we seldom see!"

"My gift to you," Nico said. "A peace offering in hope of friendship."

Screech-Bling took the skink in his long-fingered, pointy-clawed hands. Ariana assumed he would shove the reptile in his mouth and be done with it.

That's what any king or god would do, presented with his favourite delicacy.

Instead, he turned to his people and made a short speech in their own language. The trogs cheered and waved their chapeaus.

A trog in a mud-splattered chef's hat pushed his way to the front of the crowd.

He knelt before Screech-Bling and accepted the skink.

The chieftain turned to them with a grin. "We will share this bounty! I, Screech -Bling, chief executive - CLICK - officer of the troglodytes, have decreed that a great soup shall be made, so that all shareholders may taste of the wondrous skink!"

More cheering from the troglodytes. Of course, Weianq realised.

If Screech-Bling modelled himself after George Washington, he would not be a king - he would be a chief executive.

"For this great gift," he continued, "we will not kill and eat you, Nico di Angelo, even though you are Italian, and we wonder if you might taste as good as an Italian wall lizard!"

Nico bowed his head. "That is very kind."

"We will also generously refrain from eating your companions -" a few of Screech-Bling's shareholders muttered, "Aww, what?" - "though it is true that, like you, they do not wear hats, and no hatless species can be considered civilized."

Rachel and Meg looked alarmed, probably because Screech-Bling was still drooling profusely as he talked about not eating them.

Or perhaps they were thinking about all the great hats they could have worn if they'd only known.

Glow-in-the-dark Will gave them a reassuring nod and mouthed, It's cool. Apparently, the giving of a gift, followed by the promise of not killing and eating your guests, was standard troglodyte diplomatic protocol.