CAROLINA 2019

THE DEPRESSION

there's a family of ghosts that lives behind my eyes

they whisper secrets I'm not allowed to tell

the realm they inhabiT is a dark one

and it's a realm that was built by you

it's somewhat your fault, you know

that this is what it feels like

though you may not have been the one

who traceD my skin and stole my youth

you're the One who promised me

that no matter what life thrEw our way

you would always stay

but you couldn't Stay

you took your deNials and bliss

and let Them fly you to an illusion of the pearly gates

while i fell deep, deep down to hell

walking the path of others Sins alone

i'm noT sure if you know this

but the path thrOugh hell is a lonely one

believe me, i would know, i'm walking it

although i must say

"believe me" is a funny choice of words

because if you do recall

the reason why i walk this Path alone

is because you wouldn't believe me

you believed the devil wearing a slain angel's wings

and condemned me to the fiery deptHs

something that i know all too well

will never, ever leave me

it will haUnt me foreveR

screaming and echoing Through my mInd

flashbacks and Nightmares that won't let me forget

that niGht, his words, hIs hands

it's all right There, vivid color and three dimensioNal

oh, by the way

did you know that thEy say

that trauma alters the brain?

i think that Very wEll may be tRue

with the way it all playS in a loop

all of the Things you did

all Of the things he did

all of the things everyone did to hurt me

and i think now

by watching these nonstoP screenings

of the worSt horror movie of my life

that i Have figured you all out

i understand it now

if my pain doesn't reflect Upon you

your expeRiences

your feelings

then to you iT isn't real

it isn't valid

and i am a dramatic liar, an attentIon seeker

isn't that the truth to you?

don't you dare deny it

i already kNow

i understand

and so let me make this clear

if i can understand that

i hope you can understand this:

i can let my Ghost stories consume me

until there's nothing left of me to take

and there's not much left of me to take

i just hope you don't grieve me too hard

but it's not like you would anyway

after all, my pain isn't real

is it?