CAROLINA 2019

THE ACCEPTANCE

this place used to be a heaven of mine

before the edges darkened

before a pure place became tainted with sad stories

it's tragIc, truly

how a place you can love for so long

can be ruined so suddenly

but i think i may have gotten used to iT

at tHis point it is normal

normal to look at a place i loved so

and see the things that happened to me

feel the hands that stole me away

smell the alcohol that tInged the night

all the ways heaven has been tainted

but yet i know

year after year i will walk these paths

i will smile

i will laugh

i will spend my days and my Nights

acting like nothing bad has ever happened here

after all, why should i

when no one believes it happened anyway

no one will ever believe it happened

will never believe me

but i fear this is something i have come to terms with

after all,

you can only deny the truth so long

until it becomes buried too deeply to uncover

i thinK that is what those around me have done

they buried the truth In a grave

maybe around sixty-nine feet deep

and with it dead and gone

The lies and disbelief became the new truth

but it's fine

i don't know how i could expect any different

from the very beginning i should've seen this coming

but now i know

this is how it iS

you tell the truth

they don't believe you

you hurt, you bleed

but you also grow

and you learn, now i know

that this is what it feels like

first it feels like rage, Fire

before burning out or succumbing to a wave

a wave that flows back and forth

tearing you apart as you try to understand

try to beg people to understand

until it freezes over into a suffocatIng ice

dark and cold

and you panic, try to escape

until it hits you that you caN't

that's when the cold gives way to numb

and you learn to take it for what it is

this is real lifE

it didn't kill you like you thought it would

it damn near did, but yet you survived

i survived

and while i may not be the same

i have started to come to terms

with the fact that this is real life

and while the hurt still ebbs below the surface

i have realized

that it is what it is

isn't it?