Of Wit and Wile (Harry Hook x Reader)

Chapter 9

"How did the party go?"

"Terrible," I replied, sliding the phone to hold it between my ear and shoulder while I rearranged the papers on my desk. I had several of the journal entries that had been passed around at the party last night and was currently examining them, trying to see if I could decipher any added handwriting.

"That bad, huh?" Elsa's voice asked from the other end of the phone.

"The villain children did not even show up, so...well. Actually now that I think about it, perhaps it was better that they didn't. If they had, they'd have seen their future king made a mockery."

"Why didn't they go?"

"They were sick. Apparently when one drinks murky water for one's entire life, it takes some adjusting to get used to clean water and clean pipes."

"That's strange," Elsa said. "So they just stayed home, then?"

"They never left their rooms," I said, thinking back to the report I'd been given by the guards stationed in the hallways outside the VKs' doors. "I'm sure it was nice for them to spend a night in, though. Change exacerbates fatigue, after all."

"Besides what happened with the journal pages, how did everything else go? Was Hans there?"

I groaned. "Yes, but I was too preoccupied with the problem at hand to speak to him much, thank the gods. Ben told me that Clopin said some rather unsavory things to Hans, though, so I suppose that is an upside."

"Has he given up on the idea of marriage yet?"

"I wish he would, but no. He is stubbornly determined." I sighed. "He's practically the king of the Southern Isles in everything but title. As much as I hate to admit it, a union between us would be strategic from a political standpoint, but that man...that man is not good. I don't understand how he wasn't sent off to the Isle as well."

"I should have fought harder to force Hans to stand trial in Arendelle instead of back in the Southern Isles, where he was beloved among his people. Then he wouldn't have gotten off so easy."

"It's not your fault," I told her, shifting the papers on the desk. "You had other things to worry about at the time—you had to practically rebuild the morale of your people from the ground up."

"I suppose so. I just wish that something could be done about that snake of a man."

"You and I both." I checked the time. "Listen, I need to go now. I'm due to sit in on the villain kids' first class."

"Good luck."

We bid each other goodbye, and I exited my room—ensuring to lock it properly. Who knew if the thief was still around.

It was odd. Whoever the thief was, they would have had to sneak past our security and smuggle their way into the most-guarded castle in Auradon. Normally my first suspicion might have been the villain kids, but they hadn't left their rooms all night and they had only arrived in Auradon that day, so they wouldn't have had any opportunity at all to break into Ben's room, steal his journal, copy the pages and change some details, then make several more copies and distribute them throughout the nobility.

Another possibility was that the thief could have been among the palace staff, or that one of the staff members was working for the thief. That option was...disturbing to think about, but it was important to consider all possibilities.

I was a bit late arriving at Auradon Prep, so Fairy Godmother had already begun class. Quietly, I entered the room and took a seat in the back, a few rows behind the VKs. Surprisingly, Evie turned around and gave me a small wave. I returned the gesture.

Fairy Godmother used her pointer to gesture to the blackboard. "If someone hands you a crying baby, do you A: curse it, B: lock it in a tower, C: give it a bottle, or D: carve out its heart?"

I frowned. This was the curriculum that Fairy Godmother had designed? This was completely and utterly patronizing. This was insulting. This was—

"What was the second one?" Evie asked sweetly.

...This was perhaps what was needed. Still, surely some adjustments could be made.

FG's smile dimmed a bit. "Okay, anyone else? Mal?"

Mal looked up from her sketch. "Um...C. Give it a bottle."

"Correct. Again," FG said, expression brightening.

"You are on fire, girl," Carlos said.

Mal shrugged. "Just pick the one that doesn't sound like any fun." Her comment cause the other three to start murmuring in realization.

"Ah."

"Oh."

"That makes so much sense."

Someone else entered the classroom—Jane, Fairy Godmother's daughter. I had never spoken with her much, but I knew that she was rather shy. Today she wore a baby blue dress with a matching bow on her headband. She visually shivered when she passed through the villain kids' desks as she approached FG.

"Hello, dear one," Fairy Godmother said, smiling.

"Hi," she said softly, handing her mother a folder. "You need to sign off an early dismissal for the coronation."

FG took it and examined the form, then began writing. As she did so, she asked, "Everyone here remembers my daughter Jane?"

"Mom!" Jane hissed.

"It's okay." FG finished writing and handed the form back to her daughter, then addressed the four-person class. "Jane, this is everyone."

Jane's eyes were wide. "Hi." Her voice quivered. "That's okay. Don't mind me. A-as you were." She swiftly exited the room, once again shivering as she passed the villain kids.

"Let's continue." Fairy Godmother went forward with the questions, her voice enthusiastic. "You find a vial of poison! Do you A: put it in the king's wine, B: paint it on an apple, or C: turn it over to the proper authorities?"

This time Evie, Carlos, and Jay raised their hands straight up in the air. Jay, however, pulled Carlos' hand down and held it to the table so he couldn't raise it.

"Jay," FG said, calling on him.

"C," he said confidently. "You turn it over to the proper authorities."

"I was gonna say that," Carlos grumbled.

"Awe, but I said it first," Jay cooed mockingly. In a blink, the boys were wrestling again.

"Boys," FG warned.

They somehow made it onto the desk.

"Boys."

They froze, staring up at Fairy Godmother. She smiled, though it was a bit strained. "I am going to encourage you to use that energy on the tourney field."

"Oh no, that's okay," Carlos said, squirming out of Jay's grip. The two boys sat back in their seats like normal. "Whatever that is, we'll pass."