WE ARE ALL CAVED IN

Chapter 3: The Touch

I opened my laptop and began typing, my fingers moving almost involuntarily. I didn't understand why, but I found myself fixated on Onyx Escobar. My first search was, "Can a boy like a boy?" I skimmed through random articles that appeared. Next, I typed, "Am I gay?" and read through the results, feeling a mix of curiosity and confusion.

Leaning against the wall, I closed my eyes slightly. "Why am I searching for this stuff? Of course, I don't like him. I just find him interesting... maybe? I don't know," I muttered, returning my attention to the laptop. "This is nonsense!" I slammed it shut and tossed it onto my bed.

Moments later, Camille burst into my room. "What happened? You look so uneasy," she began, sitting on the bed and turning to face me. "You can tell me anything, brother. You know that."

I sighed, giving her a weary look. "I d-don't know how to say this, but—" I gasped and leaned back against the wall. "Is it possible that I can like guys? I mean, I like girls too, but this time, I don't know... I feel like... shit—" I scratched my head and sighed heavily. "I think I like this guy from school."

"Wait, bro, calm down, okay? First, it's really okay for you to like a guy, so what? I mean, who cares?" Camille replied, moving closer to sit beside me. She took my hand and looked into my eyes. "Bro, it's really okay. There's nothing wrong with loving someone of the same gender."

"Sis, I know there's nothing wrong with liking the same gender. What's wrong right now is this... the feeling. I don't know if I really like that guy or if I just find him fun or what," I continued, pulling at my hair in frustration.

Camille stood up and started pacing in front of me, as if waiting for a solution to fall from the sky. "Then figure it out, bro. You can test it yourself. First, you need to have some physical touch with that guy. What I mean by physical touch is just touching, nothing sexual," she explained, chuckling softly at her own words.

"And then what? And sis, I know what you mean by physical touch, okay? I'm not that green," I responded, laughing along with her.

"Then, if you feel some sensation while you guys are in physical contact, maybe you really like him," Camille suggested.

I wasn't sure if Camille's advice was helpful, but there was no harm in trying. It was for me, to figure out what this feeling was.

The next morning, I woke up early to find breakfast already prepared in the kitchen. This is what I liked about having my sister here with me: less burden and free, delicious food.

We had already told our parents that Camille was home, and Mom suggested we throw a dinner party this coming Sunday. They really missed Camille. They even wanted to take the day off work, but Camille insisted we all meet on Sunday when everyone was free.

After my morning routine, I headed to the university. It was a typical day, but this time, I had a mission to see if there was any sensation when I touched Onyx. Honestly, I was nervous but kept my composure. I planned to have a normal day.

Upon arriving on campus, I was immediately greeted by my two best friends, and we headed to the canteen.

My friends ordered coffee and cupcakes while I just got plain water—I had already eaten at home since Camille had cooked. I had told my friends that my sister was back, so they weren't surprised I didn't order any food. According to them, they wanted to hang out at my house just to get free food because they knew Camille love to cook.

We were in the middle of discussing the upcoming field trip when a waitress from the canteen approached us. "Someone asked me to give this to you," she said, handing a slice of cake to Carl.

Jameson and I exchanged surprised looks and turned to Carl. "Who's that someone?" Carl asked the waitress.

"Sorry, but he told me to keep his identity a secret," the waitress replied and then left.