WE ARE ALL CAVED IN

Chapter 16: Light is Fading

I feel the ground getting colder and colder beneath me. My wounds throb with increasing intensity, and I can sense the blood flowing from them. Am I about to die? I'm going to die.

The pain strikes me relentlessly. I can't stand it. I won't stand. I smile weakly and close my eyes.

"Maybe... maybe this is the end of my light," I whisper to myself.

A few minutes pass, and I hear the wail of an ambulance. Are they going to save my life? I close my eyes tighter, no longer feeling the pain.

I feel nothing. I am numb.

"Buddy... hey... buddy." It's Jameson's voice. He sounds so worried, his voice breaking, with little sobs interspersed.

"Help him... please... do everything," Jameson begs. His voice trembles. Is he crying? Am I causing him the same pain I felt when I saw Onyx on his deathbed? No, I hope I'm not. That pain is unbearable. I don't want anyone to feel pain because of me.

"Step aside. We'll do everything we can," a man's voice commands, likely a nurse or rescuer. "Everyone, hurry!" I feel myself being lifted, and then my body is laid on something that feels like a plastic stretcher.

I'm conscious but keep my eyes closed. The pain is too much. I can't describe it—there's a numbness to it that's ironic. My wounds hurt so much. My eyes are heavy. My whole body is in agony. Maybe this really is the end of my light. I hope so; I don't want to suffer anymore in this world, a world full of suffering. I wonder what heaven looks like. Maybe it's vast and beautiful, without suffering and pain. I'd love it there.

Tears stream from my eyes.

I hear the engine of the ambulance start, and I can feel it moving. Inside, I hear two men talking.

"What do you think about his wounds?" one asks, placing an oxygen mask over my mouth.

"I don't know, but... his wounds look bad," the other replies while checking my entire body. I feel him removing my clothes, and the pain strikes hard. Damn. I still want to live, but part of me whispers, "No, it's okay. You can rest now."

After a while, I slowly open my eyes and see I'm in a white hallway. Is this heaven? No.

People are staring at me as my stretcher moves. Is this a hospital? I guess so.

"Please... save him... save my best friend," I hear Jameson cry out. Hearing his sobbing voice makes me feel even worse. Am I really causing him this pain? I pity him, and I'm sorry for that.

"Sir, stay here. We'll do everything we can, okay?" another man's voice reassures Jameson. His crying and sobbing are heart-wrenching. I can feel his deep pain.

Inside, I feel a strange relief. Maybe this is for the best. Maybe these wounds will help me forget the pain of seeing Onyx on the brink of death. Am I relieved? I don't know. Maybe? No.

"What happened?" a man exclaims, quickly examining my wound. The sting is intense, but I remain calm and keep my eyes closed.

"This is worse than I expected. Prepare the Operating Room," the man, presumably a doctor, orders. "Prepare everything. This is serious."

Warm liquid falls onto my eyelids. Tears? Yes. I'm afraid of dying, but why do I feel so calm? Is it because I can finally escape the pain of seeing Onyx suffer? Wait... what about Onyx? Will he be okay? Who will be there for him on his worst days? Who will visit him during his hospital sessions? I love him, and I didn't even get the chance to tell him. I love him... I love him so much.

I hear the doctors discussing my condition, but I don't bother processing their words. My mind is consumed with thoughts of Onyx.

The pain intensifies, and I feel myself slipping into unconsciousness.

I gently open my eyes. I see the light from the ceiling, the white walls. I force myself to raise my hand, and one of the doctors notices, drawing his face closer to mine.

The doctor's face looks distressed and pained. Is he feeling my pain too? He's a stranger to me, yet he seems to share my suffering. Do doctors always feel this way when they lose a patient? I wonder what they go through. Are they hurt? Maybe yes, maybe no.

"What is it?" the doctor asks.

"In... in my... in my drawer. Fulfill my wi-wishes... plea–" I can't finish my sentence as my eyes begin to close and the darkness starts to envelop me. Wait... can I still live? Warm liquid trickles down my cheeks. The wounds are stretching. It hurts.

"Let's start the operation," the doctor says. It's the last thing I hear before I lose consciousness.

Darkness surrounds me. Is my light finally fading out? Who will light my torch if my light is gone?

I think I am like a star that is finally dying, but I know I haven't wasted my last light. For I know that if two stars are dying and they collide, they'll form another star, a single star. But are those stars really forming a new star, or is one star just letting its life be useful by giving its remaining light to the other star so it can live? It's a sad thought. I can always be his star, giving my remaining light for him.

All I know is that I am someone's star. I am Onyx's star.

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Listen to Shadow of the Day by Linkin Park

Next will be Ymar's best friend POV. Is he gone? Yes...