WE ARE ALL CAVED IN

Chapter 18: The Letter

Onyx's POV

It's been five months since I was discharged from the hospital. Luckily, I survived my serious illness. My heart is now functioning well, and I've recovered from the anemia.

Since I was hospitalized, Elise made me stop attending school. She insisted on taking care of me herself. Now, I'm in the countryside, where the air is fresh, and all I can see are green fields and beautiful landscapes.

I'm alone here in the province because Elise had to return to the city for work. According to her, our father couldn't fight his cancer anymore. While I was bedridden in the hospital, he passed away. I didn't even get to say goodbye.

My eyes suddenly become misty as sweet memories of my father flood my mind. We used to fish together, climb trees, and watch the sunset. Those memories will always be a part of me. They are among my core memories.

Our happy life changed when my mother died in a car accident two and a half years ago. The pain is still fresh, especially now that both of my parents are gone forever.

I wipe the tears from my cheeks and force myself to smile. This is my second chance of life, and I want to cherish it to the fullest.

I stepped outside and went to the yard to water the plants. For the past five months, all I've done is plant various kinds of greenery.

I open the spray faucet and start watering the plants. Even this small act helps minimize the loneliness inside me—a loneliness I can't fully understand. It feels like something, or someone, important is missing.

While watering the plants, my mind drifts to the man I met at the bar—the man I secretly loved. How is he now? I hope he's doing well.

I sit on the stairs and lean my head against the wall.

"Ymar... I miss him. I hope he's okay," I say to myself, not realizing tears are falling from my eyes.

"Why am I crying?" I wonder aloud. "I just miss him. I'm not sad... why am I crying?" I add.

I place my hand on my chest and feel my heartbeat. It's racing. I'm not nervous or anything, but it's beating so fast. This is weird. It feels like my heart has its own life and mind.

A minute later, more tears fell from my eyes. I gently wipe them away and force a smile.

"I know Ymar is okay. I hope he misses me too," I say to myself again.

I didn't even get to say goodbye to him when we left the hospital. I have no way to contact him since I'm not using any social media here in the province. My only pastimes are planting or watching TV.

I stand up and head to the balcony. I sit on the hammock and close my eyes slightly.

I wonder where Ymar is right now. All my memories of him are dear to me. The night we first met at the bar when he cried about his ex-girlfriend. The time we went on a quick road trip and watched the sunset from a hill. Those memories... I'll treasure them forever.

The night we first met, I felt something in my stomach—random butterflies dancing as I looked at his face. My heart nearly jumped out of my chest when I found out we went to the same school. The day we played chess as part of a school activity was the day I realized I liked him, and over time, that like turned into love. I've loved him for a long time, and I regret not telling him sooner. Then my condition worsened. I knew I had anemia and ignored it due to my lack of sleep and excessive workloads, trying to help my sister finance our living after our mom's death and our dad's hospitalization. Now he's gone too.

Ymar, sooner or later, I'll tell you how I feel because this is my first time falling in love, and I don't want to waste it.

I gently swing the hammock, feeling the soft wind blow against my cheeks. I just need the right time to ask my sister Elise if I can see Ymar. I know she'll understand.