TOXIC BLOODLINES: PARADISE - BOOK 2/4

OLD DOG

SEPTEMBER 27TH 2021

'Old dog.' That's what they call me now. Old dog. It was their not-so-subtle way of letting me know it was time to pass the torch. They want Ian to replace me. Hell, he already has.

When Cerberus was first launched, the thought of Ian someday filling my seat would never have crossed my mind. Ian's having access to explosives might have been why I stayed on for so long. But now? Four years later, I could not have picked a better successor. But it was not an easy road.

Ian struggled to move forward, unlike my other kids. Elenore had gotten her first acting gig, Kim was attending a local community college, Sara was putting her detective skills to work, and Arik had just returned from college for the break. They all had their own thing going on. I wasn't worried about them. But Ian... he worried me.

I had hoped having Ian work at Cerberus would be temporary until he figured out what he wanted to do, but he refused to leave the nest no matter how hard I tried to push him out. Ian had the grades to get into an Ivy League college, but he wasn't interested in it. And leaving him alone to figure out his path could have led to disaster, or worse. So, I kept him here under a watchful eye.

I knew breaking Ian would be a challenge. He wasn't a kid anymore, and keeping him in line meant having to change tactics. With a strict routine, we taught him discipline, responsibility, teamwork, and most importantly, anger management.

Ian fought us every step of the way, but he was learning. Or maybe I started to understand him better. He just wanted to be taken seriously and not be treated like a child. So, I let go of his hand.

I gave him space.

He was an adult. I had to see that too. I think letting go was harder for me than it was for him. I'd been running after this boy—man for so long that I didn't know how to loosen the reigns. I had to trust that I'd done enough to prepare him for adulthood. Then one day, I realized I hadn't raised my voice at him for a whole twenty-four hours, and we started talking, having actual conversations. The man even came to me for advice. It was new territory for us, but treating him like an adult encouraged him to act like one.

Ian's change didn't come overnight. It started small. Baby steps. Then bigger steps. Eventually, I didn't need to check in with him on anything. He completed tasks on his own, and to my surprise, Ian started making sure everyone else was doing what they were supposed to.

Despite Ian's growth, my troublesome rascal had a way to go before I'd let him steer the ship. After the incident with Andras's beast at the church, I put the training wheels back on at his request. The fact Ian took full responsibility let me know he had matured into the man I knew he was. The man who he was too stubborn to free from the shackles of boyhood.

Leadership is good for him.

It is in his blood, but he doubts himself.

Ian always wants to do the right thing, but his methods need more polishing. I know he will get there, eventually.

Somedays, I would watch Ian from my porch steps, close my eyes, and for a second, I could hear his dad. It killed me that Diego and Enola were not here to see him now.