The spark // Art Donaldson

016. Alex

Cadell, 2006

The following day, Cadell decided to take a walk to clear her mind. The morning air was crisp, and the sun was just beginning to rise, casting a warm, golden light over everything. She hoped the tranquility of the early morning would help calm her turbulent thoughts.

As she strolled through the park near the tennis courts, her mind wandered back to her conversation with Tashi. It had been a relief, in a way, to hear Tashi's reassurances. But the guilt and the envy still gnawed at her.

She wanted so desperately to be seen as more than just Tashi's rival, more than just the girl who might have let her friend get hurt out of jealousy.

Lost in thought, she almost didn't notice them at first. But then she heard the familiar sound of Art's laugh, and her heart skipped a beat. She looked up and saw Art and Tashi walking together along the path, their heads close together as they talked. They looked so comfortable, so natural together, like they belonged by each other's side.

Cadell's stomach twisted with a sharp pang of jealousy. It wasn't just that they were spending time together; it was the way they seemed so perfectly in sync. Art's eyes were bright with amusement, and Tashi's smile was genuine and carefree.

They shared a connection that felt effortless, something that Cadell had always struggled to find with anyone, especially Art. She watched as Art playfully nudged Tashi with his shoulder, and Tashi responded with a lighthearted laugh, pushing him back. The casual intimacy between them was like a knife to Cadell's heart.

She had known Art for years, had shared moments of vulnerability with him that she had never shared with anyone else. But seeing him with Tashi made her feel like an outsider, like she was intruding on something private and special.

It wasn't fair.

Cadell had worked so hard, had pushed herself to the brink, all to prove that she was just as good as Tashi. She had sacrificed so much, had buried her feelings and her pain, all for the sake of her tennis career.

But no matter what she did, it always seemed like Tashi was one step ahead, always the one who shone the brightest. And now, to see Art, the one person she thought might understand her, might see her for who she truly was, laughing and smiling with Tashi—it was almost too much to bear.

It felt like a confirmation of all her worst fears: that she was just a supporting player in the story of Tashi's life, that she would always be overshadowed, always second best.

"Everyone thinks it, Cadell. You're just a jealous, worthless bitch who can't handle the fact that Tashi's better than you– you can't handle the fact that your baby Art Donaldson will always choose her."

Cadell took a deep breath, trying to steady herself. She knew she couldn't let this jealousy consume her, but it was so hard to push it aside. The sight of Art and Tashi together was like salt in an open wound, a constant reminder of everything she felt she was lacking.

And she thought about all the times she woke up in his bed, with his hickeys covering her neck, and he brushed them off like nothing. All those times they would kiss like there was no tomorrow and then go back to being just friends.

Cadell heard Tashi's laugh, ringing like bells in the wind. She watched them sadly, watched as she leaned into Art's shoulder as they walked, watched as he tugged her closer with an open hand.

It was like a message from above: He doesn't love you.

...

Later that evening, Cadell found herself at a party, surrounded by people she barely knew. She drank more than she should have, the alcohol dulling the edge of her anger and jealousy.