Circa' 1987-1989
"....She was short with full hips and small waist with smooth Carmel skin and perfect c-cup breast. Who was I kidding this girl was head turner...."
Michael Jackson about to start his BAD World Tour and a special girl has popped in...
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Chapter 43: "Unforeseen Revelations: Facing the Future Together"
December 14, 1988 California Amahle Perspective
The following weeks passed in a blur of activity and quiet moments of reflection. My family and I spent more time together than we had in months, seeking comfort in each other's presence and finding solace in the small, everyday moments we shared. The house was filled with the sounds of laughter and conversation, a stark contrast to the somber tone that had enveloped us after Aaron's memorial.
After Darren's and Aaron's deaths, I found myself lost and confused, grappling with the profound sense of loss and the weight of unresolved emotions. One minute, I was relieved that the stress and worry of Darren's presence were over, and the next, my heart ached as memories of our time together flooded my mind. The good, the bad, and the ugly—all of it intertwined, leaving me in a state of emotional turmoil. I truly never hated Darren, not until the end, and even then, my feelings were more complex than simple hatred.
Luckily, Michael had to return to the tour; I would hate for him to see me conflicted over my deceased ex. During my short time in New orleans my mother advised to seek a therapist, since the main cause of trauma is gone. Her suggestion made sense, yet it felt daunting to unravel the complex web of emotions inside me. The idea of exposing my vulnerabilities to a stranger was intimidating, but deep down, I knew it was a necessary step toward healing.
When I returned to california I decided to take her advice and found a therapist in town. Our sessions started with small, tentative steps, each one peeling back a layer of the pain and confusion that had settled in my heart. It wasn't easy to confront the memories of Darren—the man who had once been my rock and later became the violent beast in my life—but with each session, I felt a little lighter, a little freer.
As the days turned into weeks, I also found solace in the beauty of nature that surrounded our ranch. I would often take long walks through the sprawling fields, letting the gentle breeze and the rustle of leaves soothe my troubled mind. There was a sense of peace here, a connection to something greater than myself, that helped me find moments of clarity amidst the chaos of my thoughts.
One crisp December morning, as I wandered through the orchard behind the house, I found myself drawn to a secluded spot near the edge of the property. There, nestled among the trees, was a small clearing bathed in golden sunlight. It felt like a sanctuary, a place where I could escape the noise of the world and just be.
I sank down onto the soft grass, closing my eyes and letting the warmth of the sun wash over me. In that moment, I felt a sense of calm wash over me, a reassurance that everything would be okay. I took a deep breath, inhaling the scent of pine and earth, and let myself be fully present in the moment.
As I sat there, basking in the serenity of the clearing, I felt a weight lift from my shoulders. It was as if the burdens I had been carrying for so long were slowly melting away, leaving behind a sense of lightness and clarity.
