Sunshine

⭐ Prologue: Cold Sweat.

Trigger Warning: A panic attack. A dream of forceful nudity amongst a jeering public. A very mild grievance.

Edward's chest heaved, his palm heavy on it, raising up and down as he sucked in air. His eyes were wet and he felt the material of his white t-shirt hug his body due to the cold sweat that embalmed him. He could choke, he thought, he would not mind.

The tears did not fall. His breathing calmed slowly as he stared at his reflection in the mirror, a blurry reflection and yet he could make out the sheer panic. His widened eyes, brown and wet. His hollow cheeks. His flushed face. The tightness of his jaw that, no matter how much he tried to swallow the air around him, did not ease.

It was always the same nightmare, always and for as long as he could remember.

Questions aimed at him.

Mary Lennox arrived in England after her parents' death in The Secret Garden; Lennox lived where prior to this event?

The name of which punctuation mark is Greek for "together?"

What famous Russian novelist was also a physician?

What Robert Frost Poem does Johnny recite to Ponyboy in The Outsiders?

In Fyodor Dostoevsky's "The Brothers Karamazov," which character articulates the philosophical argument of "The Grand Inquisitor"?

In Leo Tolstoy's "War and Peace," which battle serves as a turning point for Prince Andrei Bolkonsky's character?

What innovative narrative technique is employed by Vladimir Nabokov in "Pale Fire," and how does it affect the story's structure?

A jeering audience.

"As if he'd know."

"Look at how scared he is."

"Such little knowledge, how does he look at himself without contempt?"

"Idiot." "Bastard." "Such a waste of time."

"Why do we let such dimwits enroll?" "Should be in preschool."

"He looks like he's going to wet his pants and go cry to his mommy!" "If I were his mommy, I'd leave him there and like that for as long as I could help it. Such a shame to have such a son." "I'd disown him."

"Shush, let's see him try." "Let's see him fail is more like it."

"How humiliating, this should be fun!"

His lack of knowledge being proportional to his clothing,

"I do not know." Shoes gone.

"I can not recall." Socks gone.

"I have two answers for options"- T-shirt gone.

"Please, just another chance." Pants gone.

"I know this...I know...Please, just one moment, I beg of you, please." Boxers being pulled down, forcefully.

"I cannot recollect the exact term but I can explain it- PLEASE DON'T! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! Ple-Please...please just give me another chance, don't do this to me. Please don't do this to me." Cold air blowing over his naked flesh and shamefully hot face, tears down his eyes, hands being tugged away so he is fully exposed. For he lacks knowledge. For he undeserving of dignity.

Flashes. Laughs. Fingers.

It was a dream, he would remind himself. A nightmare, he'd correct the word. No matter the name of the vision, however, it always left him with damp sheets and wet locks of hair that stuck to his anguished face.

His head hit his bed frame as he calmed down slightly, his panting painfully loud to his own ears. He grimaced, running a hand over his sickly moist face and rubbing at his eyelids until he saw small prickles of light.

He lay that way for the rest of the night.

With wet hair, damp clothing, wetter eyes, a lump in his throat and a thousand thoughts bombarding his mind.

The weight of the silver chain around his neck, however, was the only thing he felt grateful for because it managed to keep another such painful ordeal at bay.

How he wished the owner of the silver chain could hold him once last time and tell him it would be okay. He wished that Jules could protect him for just another moment with his strong arms and bright smile, just for one last moment.

It is quite a sad fact that most wishes do not come true and so Edward lay with wood digging into his skull, eyes on the ceiling letting the cold sweat dry against his skin as the sun began to colour the sky.