𝓗𝓪𝓻𝓿𝓮𝓼𝓽 𝓜𝓸𝓸𝓷 (Joel Miller x Fem OC)

𝒞𝒽𝒶𝓅𝓉𝑒𝓇 𝐼𝒳

▷A Horse with No Name - America

The morning air was crisp and fresh as the weather finally caught up to the change of the season. Early October has always been my favourite time of the year, and as I walked towards Joel's house, I take in the aroma of the surrounding pine trees and petrichor from last night's rain and the sounds of morning-birds singing their little songs. 

I took most of the night to reflect on what Joel had admitted to me yesterday and came to the conclusion that if he's all I have right now, it's in my best interest to place at least some trust in him. I can admit that I can't survive on my own - especially in such an unfamiliar place - without someone beside me, and if that's Joel right now, I need to believe in his promise and move on.

After a short stroll, I reach Joel's front door and raise my hand to knock. Before my knuckles can even touch the wood, the door swings open, causing me to jump back in shock and Joel to mutter a frightened fuck under his breath.

"Jesus, can't scare me like that, Daisy. I'll have a fuckin' heart attack..." He rubs his chest and we both let out nervous laughs, shaking off the jump as he moves aside to let me in.

"Sorry, didn't know how early you'd be up so just came over when I was ready." I say as I walk into the living room, taking off my coat and tossing it on the couch.

"Was just about to go for some air but may as well wait since you're here now..." Joel shuts the door behind him and follows after me, motioning me to sit on the couch as he settles into a chair opposite. 

As Joel's eyes are preoccupied elsewhere, I take a moment to admire his freshly groomed appearance and his slick backed hair - presumably from having just showered, which was also evident by how nice his soap smelled as he opened the door. Seeing him this clean and put together was rare, and although I liked how rugged he usually looked, they way he looked so neat made my heart jump. I quickly push that feeling aside and bring myself back to reality as his eyes fix back on mine.

"So..." He takes in a deep breath and adjusts in his seat, "talked with Tommy 'bout a few things - nothin' of your concern, but... think we should head out. Leave Jackson Hole." His gaze fixates on mine as I take in his words, the tinge of sadness in his tone making me wonder - what must have happened? The entire reason we were here was for Tommy, so if he wants to leave it probably isn't good. I choose to not ask questions and just respond with a simple "Okay."

Joel's brows furrow as he squints his eyes at my response, "You're okay with that? No questions... nothin'?"

I shrug my shoulders and stare back at him blankly. "Yeah. I mean... it's not like I've grown attached to this place, and I told you when we first met... I like an adventure." I flash him a soft smile which makes him perk up slightly. "But...where would we go?" 

Joel bites his cheek and takes a moment to think about my question, scratching his stubble as his eyes dart around the room before turning to me again. "Could go back. Take you back to Frank and Bill's place..." My face cringes at his idea - the thought of being isolated again wasn't exactly appealing. He notices my expression and quickly continues, "Or... could just go anywhere. Wherever we want. Find somewhere quiet and live our own lives... just not here."

The uncertainty in his voice mirrors my own feelings. Anywhere sounded better than nowhere, and being near Joel, even after everything, didn't sound that bad. Curiosity finally gets the best of me, though, and my mind wanders back to what must have happened with Tommy. "If you don't mind me asking... what happened with Tommy? I mean, didn't you come here solely for him?"

Joel's eyes quickly move to the ground as he sighs and places his elbows onto his legs, settling his head in his hands and scratching his head. I regret asking my question but before I can change the topic, he begins to speak. "Maria's pregnant. Tommy doesn't wanna leave and... I respect that choice. Don't agree with what they're doin' here but... 'least I know he's alright."

I nod to myself as a silence falls over us. Joel seems upset over everything with Tommy, but being so inexperienced with his emotions, I don't know what else to say so I just keep quiet. He must have felt the awkwardness in the air, as after a few moments he leans back against the chair and changes the subject as well as his tone, "What're you thinkin' then? Back home or somewhere new?"

I continue to fiddle with my dress as I smile and quickly respond, "Somewhere new."

Joel lets out a light laugh, one that makes me think that'd what he wanted me to choose. After a moment, he rises from the chair and stretches - his flannel rising slightly and exposing his happy trail which, annoyingly, makes me blush. 

It bothers me that I'm still feeling this way towards Joel. He could do something unforgivable and I probably still wouldn't be able to let go of my feelings - which I hate. I'm not planning to let him know any of that, though, so I quickly avert my eyes and pick myself up from the couch, grabbing my coat to leave. 

"Gonna go and pack then... meet you back here?" I ask, prompting Joel to nod.

"Meet at the stables, actually. Gonna try and grab some horses offa' Tommy. Damn truck lost power, so only other choice we have right now..." I clench my teeth and scrunch my face at the idea of riding a horse, especially as I've never actually ridden a horse before. Joel takes notice of my worry and smirks, letting out a small laugh. "Can ride with me if that suits you better. 'Nough space for the both of us." 

I breathe out an exaggerated sigh of relief and flash him a shy smile, although in the back of my mind, the realisation of having to hold onto Joel for hours makes my stomach flip. I try to push out the thought as I head out the door and make my way back to my house, nervous yet excited about this new adventure.

-- 

Joel was tightening a saddle firmly against a large brown horse as I approached the stables, patting its rear and turning to me when he hears me walk closer.  Without wasting a moment, we both exchange a glance and a nod before Joel kneels down with his hands cupped - ready to help me on the horse. I grab onto his shoulders as he hoists me up, swinging my leg over the saddle and gathering my balance. I may not have seen many horses in my life, but even I can say this horse not only tall, but pretty wide. Being short, my legs barely touch the stirrups, which causes Joel to laugh to himself as he adjusts them (quite a bit) to reach my feet.

"Don't laugh, Joel. Some of us had stunted growth..." I joke in a serious tone, which causes Joel to laugh a bit harder and me to laugh with him. Seeing Joel express an emotion other than angry or serious is always refreshing - it shows there's an actual human inside him after all.

Once I settle myself, Joel tightens his bag onto the saddle and kicks himself over the horse's back and onto the seat - my face now a few inches away from his back. 

"You good back there?" He asks, turning his head slightly to look at me with his peripherals. I adjust myself on the saddle to find the most comfortable position before responding with a plain, "Yup."

"Good. You're gonna have to hold onto me, alright? Don't need you fallin' off, that would be like a forty foot drop for you..." I slap his back and roll my eyes as he turns forward and laughs to himself, waiting to move until he feels my hold. I snake my arms around his waist but am unable to clasp my hands together due to how broad his torso is.

I awkwardly move my hands around his waist to try and find the least compromising position, but in doing so I think I make the situation worse. He eventually grabs my hands and gently places them on his sides, lingering on them for a moment before quickly moving his back onto the reins. I'm thankful Joel's back is to me as I can feel how red my cheeks are.

Joel clicks his tongue and pulls on the reins to lead the horse out of the stables and through the village until we reach the gate, where without asking questions, the guards open the large doors for us and through we go. Once the doors close behind us, we sit idle for a few moments as Joel looks in every direction before he heads in the direction he randomly picks.

He lightly kicks the horse with the back of his boot and we take off - Jackson Hole growing smaller and smaller behind us as we trot through the forests of Wyoming.

--

A/N

Sorry this chapter is so short, next one is going to be a lot longer!!