Devotion

Chapter 21 - Seven

  Malik was right, we didn't have to worry about Choso being sentenced to anything major. In fact, they somehow deemed the murder as 'self defense' and case closed with no questions asked. I think they were just happy to have finally caught the mafia boss who apparently was involved with a sex trafficking ring and got the organization Leo controlled and called it good. The legal system is weird, and Malik seems to have good connections.

Really good connections.

However, Choso couldn't get let off with absolutely nothing, because of the fight with Leo that damaged a lot of the clubs property and landed Leo in the hospital for almost a month, he was sentenced to a year in prison, but with good behavior could get out as early as 7 months.

So it's been 7 months.

It's weird, 7 months is a long time but also not. Just over half a year, but not quite a year. I think it's seemed longer for me because we haven't spoken to each other since that night, the last thing he said to me was "just quit fucking talking." So I did just that.

While going through the court case and legal process Malik worked close with him a lot, but apparently Choso never asked about me, which I can't be too mad I mean the process of court is stressful.

But still...

I've pin pointed that he's angry with me because I saved Leo, but I'd rather him be mad at me then sitting in prison for the rest of his life, I hope I'll get the chance to tell him that.

I went back to work at the club for a little while, but ended up leaving for a something a little different and am now working at a cafe across town. I couldn't keep being there all the time after everything that had happened and honestly being at the cafe is a nice change of pace.

Though I do go back to the club for a night once or twice a month, just because I couldn't fully cut ties with everyone there. Maybe I'll actually do that soon...

I hang out with friends sometimes, some from the club and new ones that I've made, I go to my new job that I love so very much while also being able to still go to the club  every once a while, I started going to a pole studio so I could work on becoming a teacher and I have the many other hobbies I've been doing, but...

I can't help but have this empty, aching feeling whenever I think of him. To be honest, I haven't really dealt with being kidnapped or Choso being put away, I just kind of went to work I suppose. It makes me feel incredibly guilty at times, but I didn't know what else to do.

There's nights where I wake with nightmares of being trapped in that mansion or of that night at the club, except I'm the one being beaten or killed. Other nights it's of the night we shared together and how utterly devoted we were to each other. Either way, it rips a hole in me that I can't quite figure out how to fix and ignoring it seems to only work for so long.

If things were different and we didn't part the way we did, I would've been up there to visit as much as possible and called any chance I had, but this way is probably better and there's nothing I can do now.

Getting off my shift, I push into my apartment and collapse on the couch to rest my aching feet. You'd think I'd be used to sore feet, but apparently not. Pulling my now chest-length hair out of its pony, I close my eyes for a moment when I hear my phone ring. Digging through my bag I see that it's Malik calling. "Hey!"

"Hey honey, how are you doing?" His warm voice says over the phone.

"Oh I'm goood. Just got off work, what going on?"

"Well I wanted to let you know his release day is today. It's a week sooner than we thought, but it's better for him."

Today.

"Hey, y/n are you there?"

"Wh- what yeah I'm here! Sorry I just don't know what to say..." I stutter back, feeling my pulse racing.

"For starters you could go see him? Maybe call?"

"Did I or did I not tell you 1000 times what he said to me last." I deadpan.

He sighs, knowing we've had this conversation before. "No I'm sorry I understand. It's just, I'm sure you could've taken it out of context you know? Maybe he didn't mean it like that. Still, 7 months is a long time you two not talk for. What if he really did think you had a thing for Leo?"

"I don't see how I'd have a thing for my kidnapper but okay." I grit out.

"You know I didn't mean it like that, stop the sassy tone y/n." He states.

I release a deep breath. "You're right I'm sorry. It's just all so stressful I guess."

"Honey I understand, I just always tried to see both of your sides." He says quietly. "Anyways, I'll be picking him up and bringing him back to the club to catch up and maybe get him back into bartending here until he gets on his feet. I still have to help find a place for him since he lost his old apartment."

I glance at the closet that's holding almost all of his stuff after the landlord obviously kicked him out. "Yeah I know..."

"Maybe he could stay with you!" He says cheerfully.

"Yeah maybe if he didn't want to kill me in my sleep!" I mock back.

"Oh hush it y/n. Anyways I gotta run, call me if anything changes honey." He says the hangs up the phone, leaving me conflicted about everything.

Him and I have gone back and forth on this topic the entire time Choso's been gone and it honestly hasn't gotten anywhere. Since they worked together with the legal side of things they became closer I'm sure, but also know that Malik kept in touch with him while he was locked up.

He always hated that I never contacted him, but you could honestly blame me? It slightly pisses me off that I'm made out to be the bad guy here, but I let it go for all of ours sake. Deciding to try and push it out of my mind, I take a desperately needed shower to cleanse my thoughts.

After my 30 minute long steaming hot shower my thoughts are still not cleansed and I end up spending the rest of the day in panic cleaning mode. I'm now also more stressed because I know for a fact that Malik has picked him up. The guilt gnaws at me, but at this point I'm more scared, maybe embarrassed than anything. Also mad.

So I feel guilty, stressed, sad and angry all over Choso once again. Great.

I slump on the couch when I get a call from Axelle. "Hey honey! Are you free tonight?"

"Tonight? Oh well um..."

"No you're not doing this. Get dressed because we're going out." She states.

"Wait, huh? I-"

"No 'huhs' y/n. I know what today is, and I know you're most likely stress cleaning your apartment over this."

"How the hell-"

"Now get ready! I have Nobara coming too, we can have a little girls night! Just to take the stress off, maybe we can talk about it?" She says cautiously.

I sigh, knowing I can't win this. "Yeah alright that's fine. See you soon." I reluctantly agree and hang up.

I appreciate her more than she knows, she's helped me out so much the past 7 months but one thing was I could hardly open up to her about what happened. Really the only person I talked to about it was Malik, but even then I held back.

What I say it out loud, it makes me feel even more pathetic than anything.

A night out won't be that bad I suppose, I won't even get that drunk.

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